Okay, time I posted some sexy stuff. Nauzy and I have done some marvelous things of late. They seem to all blend together in my mind, though, so I am taking huge amounts of creative license.
I have gotten so very good at becoming so very blank and compliant when he so much as whispers in his Voice. Remember how I used to want so badly to go blank all the time? We don't even worry about it anymore, because when I'm under I might as well be blank. I get so receptive and calm and helpless and mmmm.
I mentioned to him that I thought it'd be particularly hot if he made me say things when I was under. So we got naked and he put me under when I wasn't even expecting it.
"I want you to repeat after me," he said. "'I am deeply hypnotized.'"
"I am deeply hypnotized."
"'I love being hypnotized.'"
"I love being hypnotized."
"'I am completely helpless.'"
"I am completely helpless."
It feels good to be helpless. I love being helpless. It feels so wonderful to be helpless. How does it feel to be helpless? So wonderful.
It actually wasn't as hot as I'd thought it would be. But it was still pretty nice. Somewhere in there I have a vague memory of him giving me suggestions that I loved obeying him, and I'd want to obey him even when I was awake.
..that one was hot. And it worked oh so well. The next night we were saying goodnight out at my car, and he made an offhand comment about how obedient I was and how much I would love kneeling and doing his bidding... and all of a sudden I noticed that my knees were giving way. I was starting to kneel without even having been given a direct command!
"Uh, d'you really want me to kneel in the parking lot...?" I asked. He pulled me back up and kissed me. "Probably not, no. But you are a very obedient, good girl, aren't you?"
I squirmed.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
The "why" post
When I was receiving new thread notifications from the Submissive Women and the Comfy Chair groups on fetlife, at least once a week someone'd start a thread to the effect of: "why are we like this?" Here's my take on it.
There is a theory (heard it from the marvelous Dan Savage, I'm not sure if it's his or not) that some fetishes come from an intense fear, and the mind turns it into a sexual obsession in order to cope. I think that theory has some merit, at least for me, because I always have feared losing control or losing bodily autonomy. I hate and am really really terrified of local anesthesia, because I'm awake but I can't make use of whatever body part has been numbed. It's creepy, I'm not in control of my own body, and I hate it. But at the same time... I like being tied up, and I adore having my mind shut down so that I can't help but follow orders. It is an amusing contradiction.
I was mulling this over the other day with Nauzy, and we tried to see if he gets turned on by any of his fears. No such luck. "Maybe it's a matter of correlation rather than causation," he said. Possibly so. "That, and I'm sure the lingerie and high-heels fetishists weren't scared of them as kids," I replied, amused by the idea. "But consider this: the sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight response) is involved in arousal and orgasm.... yet the parasympathetic nervous system (it does the opposite) has a hand in there too."
Who knows? There're probably quite a few different ways people develop fetishes or were born with them. Mine seems to be a fear response, though there's got to be more to it. Maybe the predilection to have fetishes is genetic, but needs to be triggered somehow. Maybe it's a matter of conditioning: someone likes masturbating to a certain kind of porn, and then it becomes the only kind of porn they can get off to (though, the turn-on would've still been there in the first place somehow...).
I think the only conclusion we can make is: human sexuality is immensely complicated, and I don't envy anyone researching it. :p
There is a theory (heard it from the marvelous Dan Savage, I'm not sure if it's his or not) that some fetishes come from an intense fear, and the mind turns it into a sexual obsession in order to cope. I think that theory has some merit, at least for me, because I always have feared losing control or losing bodily autonomy. I hate and am really really terrified of local anesthesia, because I'm awake but I can't make use of whatever body part has been numbed. It's creepy, I'm not in control of my own body, and I hate it. But at the same time... I like being tied up, and I adore having my mind shut down so that I can't help but follow orders. It is an amusing contradiction.
I was mulling this over the other day with Nauzy, and we tried to see if he gets turned on by any of his fears. No such luck. "Maybe it's a matter of correlation rather than causation," he said. Possibly so. "That, and I'm sure the lingerie and high-heels fetishists weren't scared of them as kids," I replied, amused by the idea. "But consider this: the sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight response) is involved in arousal and orgasm.... yet the parasympathetic nervous system (it does the opposite) has a hand in there too."
Who knows? There're probably quite a few different ways people develop fetishes or were born with them. Mine seems to be a fear response, though there's got to be more to it. Maybe the predilection to have fetishes is genetic, but needs to be triggered somehow. Maybe it's a matter of conditioning: someone likes masturbating to a certain kind of porn, and then it becomes the only kind of porn they can get off to (though, the turn-on would've still been there in the first place somehow...).
I think the only conclusion we can make is: human sexuality is immensely complicated, and I don't envy anyone researching it. :p
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sexy iphone apps!
I have an ipod touch, sadly, not as iphone per se, but I've found a few apps that might be useful/fun/hot for the technologically-savvy hypnofetishist.
First, the iHourglass. (link goes to the itunes store). There's a free version, too. I know one doesn't think of hourglasses when one thinks of hypnosis, but I was strongly reminded of this story, in which an hourglass is featured in an object-fixation induction.
The other one I have I came across on the MCforum; it's called Hypnopac (again, link goes to the itunes store). Rather more predictable, it plays a couple different spirals, as well as a swinging pocketwatch. I enjoy it. ;)
First, the iHourglass. (link goes to the itunes store). There's a free version, too. I know one doesn't think of hourglasses when one thinks of hypnosis, but I was strongly reminded of this story, in which an hourglass is featured in an object-fixation induction.
The other one I have I came across on the MCforum; it's called Hypnopac (again, link goes to the itunes store). Rather more predictable, it plays a couple different spirals, as well as a swinging pocketwatch. I enjoy it. ;)
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