CT Hypno Play Night!

So. It was awesome.

I worked till 7 on Saturday during the day, which left me with an hour to get ready between work and the hour-long drive to hartford. I was pretty calm about the whole thing until 6 pm hit, when I realized that there was only an hour left on my shift, and that I was going to be getting my brains tranced out in four hours or less.

It was a really strange headspace. Normally, for me, I would've just felt anxious, but there wasn't a whole lot to be anxious about. After last weekend, I knew there were lots and lots of good things to look forward to, and I was going to know a bunch of people at the event, so basically I was this hot, worked-up mixture of anticipation, lightheadedness, arousal, please-please-please yes-yes-yes, with just a touch of anxiety. Kind of like an anticipatory, counting-your-chicks-before-they-hatch subspace.

I arrived at the Society, parked, reminded myself to breathe, and rang the doorbell. Waiting in line at the door, I saw a strapping gentleman rocking suspenders and a tie in another doorway. He was watching people come in. I glanced at him, nodded, looked at the line in front of me, then double-taked and looked at him again. It was Buddy. I didn't say "it's you!" but I was totally thinking it.

"You look very different without the beard!" I said instead. "Your eyes are the same, though."

We exchanged a few more words, I paid the doorperson, then went straight to the next room, where I put on my awesome boots. Well, they're mostly awesome: they're black, and leather, and totally comfortable, but driving in them is hell, hence the change of footwear. I also doffed my panties, because I could see no use for them. ;p AmHypnotic was there, as was SluttyDee, whom I was glad to see again. I met a few other hypno-kinksters, then we all headed into the main room, where, after some cat-herding, Buddy did a brief hypnosis-101 talk and a sexy demo.

After the demo, there was food and water and socializing. Buddy and I had plans to scene that night, but AmHypnotic, Dee, and I wandered off into the darker back room, figuring that Buddy would come find me eventually. AmHypnotic proposed a scene where, if either Dee or I were being touched, we would feel what the other was feeling. The suggestions ended up not working for me at all, but it was still rather amusing to have AmHypnotic touching my neck, and Dee on his other side moaning louder than I was. I suspect they didn't work because I tend to feel uncomfortable watching people doing sexy things for stretches of time (I'm a terrible voyeur. :p), and that's what the suggestion was based on.

Buddy did indeed eventually come find me, and we all chitchatted about hypno-scenes for a bit. The funniest bit for me was, when AmHypnotic described the suggestion Dee and I had on, and Buddy was like "oh yeah, the time I tried to do that, there was feedback between the two women involved, it was weird."

AmHypnotic removed the suggestion from myself and Dee, and Buddy and I went to the Space's quiet room for some quality time. We did some negotiation between tangents about various kink-related things, then Buddy was like, "well, I could keep going, but I should put you under." And I agreed (it was about time! :p) so we started.

He used his pocketwatch. I was surprised by how quickly my eyes started to blink; it happened before he started saying anything about it. I was also impressed by his Voice, and how even his pacing was, and how subtle his wording was. He did a few deepeners, and I was so incredibly out of it.

The trouble with staying up really late for these sorts of events is that my memory is worse than usual. I remember all of the different triggers we played with, and I have some vivid flashbulb-type memories of bits that were really really hot, but the narrative structure is all lost.

He gave me a re-induction trigger, then we played around with some light bondage. Whenever he said "your wrists are bound," it was exactly what it said on the tin: my wrists would kind of spring together as if they were tied up, and whenever he said "release" they would be untied. He also gave me a sensation trigger (making up terminology as I go along here): whenever he said "good girl," I'd feel as if I was being fingered for a few seconds.

I remember him waking me up and asking how I was doing. I expected to be awake for at least a few minutes, but it was more like a few seconds.

"I'm good!" I said, wondering, as I always do, what 'tists expect you to answer that with, when they tell you, in the wake-up, that you're feeling good and wonderful and happy.

"Good to hear. Sleepy girl Arel."

I have never dropped so fast. It was so hot. Usually, when I'm triggered like that, I have a minute to think "oh, hey, it's a trigger" before I go, and I sink kind of slowly. With this one, bam, I was out.

There was another point, when he was doing a deepener, he asked me to notice how my body might be feeling: was it heavy? tingly? warm?

"Aroused..." I said in my tranced-out voice. I think this startled Buddy, because it was a moment before he continued with the deepener, but it was fine. I mean, it was the truth! XD

After a bit, he woke me up. AmHypnotic had poked his head in the room, and I, being in a rambly headspace, announced "I'm really wet right now! :D"

Buddy put me under using this fabulous round crystal as a focus, wording it so that my eyes stayed open. He gave me some suggestions to the effect that I wouldn't be able to think when I was looking at it, then asked me a couple of times what I was thinking about while dangling it in front of me. And of course, the only thing I could say was "the crystal..."

Hot. That was hot. That was get-hot-and-bothered-at-work, masturbate-myself-to-sleep-at-night hot. A++, would scene again.

Some other people had come into the quiet room, so we went to go find other people. Buddy went off and scened with some other folk, and I hung about for a while, then went of to scene with AmHypnotic.

We did a play-on-words thing, inspired by the metaphor "comes with the territory." My idea. There were two couches in the room where we were, and the other couch (that was vacant at the time), if I was touching it in any fashion, would make me come and continue to make me come until I stopped touching it. I would not remember what the suggestion was, and furthermore, I would feel a desire to go sit on the other couch when he woke me up.

At first I just sat down on it, and waited a minute, and then holyshitohgod I was coming. AmHypnotic helped me to stand up after a minute (because I was coming, I couldn't really move my limbs to stand up), then touched my hand to the couch. I moaned. He lifted it away from the cushion.

"It's nice, but kind of unwieldy, you know?" I said, dazed.

He grinned. "Kneel."

I was confused. I was facing away from the couch, so kneeling wouldn't bring me into contact with it. "Like... this?" I said, doing so.

"Yes," he said, and pressed my hand down to the couch, and held it there. I doubled over, making all kinds of pleasurable noises, writhing a little bit, realizing why he'd had me kneel down. My hand probably would've come off the couch if he wasn't holding it there.

Then we did some blank mind play of our own. AmHypnotic, like any self-respecting 'tist, had brought his pocketwatch, and made my mind go blank anytime I saw it. We tried mixing fingering for real with the pocketwatch, but it honestly didn't do much for me. My mind already goes kinda blank and hazy when I'm being pleasured, so there was no need for the pocketwatch. However, I can think of some fun "let's try to get Arel to talk while she's looking at the pocketwatch" games we could play with it. Next time.

It was getting late at this point. AmHypnotic and I rejoined the group out in the hallway-area. Most of the people there for the hypno-event were chatting and sipping water, though several were in harnesses. I made a pun that I cannot for the life of me remember, and then Buddy shared a pun he'd heard from a friend: Said friend tied a rubber duck to a string, and Buddy was like "what are you doing?" and the friend replied "I'm doing an in-duck-tion."

*gigglesnerk*

Then Buddy, for some reason or other, pulled out his crystal and held it up, and I had time to say "you... forgot that I still have that trigger..." before I went a little blank and my eyes latched onto it. But then he re-told the pun to a few people who'd missed it the first time, and I snerked. Eyes not leaving the crystal, I said in a lucid tone of voice: "see, I'm supposed to be going under right now, but apparently bad puns and trance are incompatible states for me."

...yes, "bad pun" is a state of mind!

Evidently it wasn't as late as I thought (still had 45 minutes till closing), so I told Buddy if he was free and interested, I'd be willing to play with him some more. He was, and he grabbed me and kind of.. he twirled me, and then kind of danced me back into the back room. I thought, at the time, like it seemed rather like someone had read this post. It was pleasantly sexy; I do enjoy being yanked around.

And my memory is failing me; I don't remember at all what we did aside from the aftercare and debriefing. (and I know it wasn't intentional, amnesia-play has so far been not a beginning sort of thing.) I do remember telling Buddy that playing with him was one of the highlights of my night, and indeed it was. I'm looking forward to sceneing with him again!

I believe the best way to title this post is "omgyes"

So, he left, and I grumbled something about being all hot and bothered, thinking about how tired I am of getting off to porn recently. Something about having the real thing dangling right in front of your face makes reading inductions to get off kind of a drag. I brushed my teeth and got into bed, then it occurred to me that I should check my text messages, see if my roommate had responded to my "hey, I has a dude over, FYI"

She had, but I also had a second message! "You still up?" it had been sent twenty minutes ago.
"ah, well, I'm in bed, but yes, still awake," I thumbed.
"I was wondering if you wanted me to finish what I started with the kiss I gave you as I was leaving."
"oh, very much so. do you mean, now?" I half-expected him to be all "when I see you on tuesday, that is!" and be a tease, but I was hoping not. As I replied, I got a second message from him: "to meet you at the door, take you by the hair and push you into the apartment, my lips on yours, my hands around you..."
I gasped a little, really hoping that he wasn't going to make me wait. I got another message. Very brief, just "yes." Now.
"*squirms* I'm currently naked and in bed, will that be a problem?"
"it will not, as long as you let me in" I leaped out of bed, and my phone buzzed again. "on my way. hope you like being pinned against a wall"

So, he arrived, metal fingernails from his sensation play kit in hand (or on hand, rather :p). He grabbed my hair and kissed me and pushed me up against a wall, just as he'd promised, then used my very oldest trigger that I'd told him about. Stroking my temples downward puts me into a pretty light trance, but a trance nonetheless. He then tried to make me come on command, and it just did not work, because I am le suck at hallucinating things (that is, in fact, the scientific term). Especially in so light a trance. I brought myself out of the trance after he'd stopped and said "um, A for effort?"

"well, I can certainly make you feel things without hypnosis," he said, and I brought him to my bedroom. Conveniently, I already had zero clothes on (not even socks! :p), and we shortly got to fucking like rabbits.

Now, I'm pretty sure it's because of my submissiveness, but during sex, I, hm. It's not that I'm unresponsive (because I can get really loud), it's just that I prefer to lie back and take it, if you will, instead of being ridiculously active during it. Let's put it this way: I have never been able to be the partner on top because I can't properly enjoy myself if I have to be actively fucking my partner. (also I've never been willing to figure out the mechanics of being on top, probably because I don't particularly like those positions ;)

Pseudonymous Dom picked up on this. "I don't even have to tie you up," he said after we'd started, and I couldn't tell if it was domly musing or dirty talk. Or both. "I can just do this--" he thrusted again "--to you, and you can't even move, can you?"

I moaned.

"You can't control your arms, and the only thing you can do with your legs is wrap them around me... "
"I...ohhhh...."
"hmmm?"
"I... could.... move my arms... if I wanted to," I asserted, between moans. "I just don't want to."
"And you can't even quite focus your eyes, can you?"
"ohh, no..." and indeed I couldn't. I kept trying to look up at him, but I wasn't able to do so for more than a few seconds before my eyes would roll back.

And it went on like that for a bit longer, and it was hot, and although I did not go into subspace, it was still excellent. And now I have to go to my cashiering day job with two giant hickeys on my neck.

Having a play partner is a blast.

I have a trigger!

And it's a trigger that works fantastically, and I say this after a few runs. We took the feeling I had of being tipsy (even though, of course, I wasn't really) and gave me a trigger for it, basically. It makes me more stupidly horny than drunk, which works out just fine for everyone, I think. :p

Half the time, when Nauzy triggers me with it, I feel like I'm acting, but obviously it works on my subconscious, because the other day when he triggered me I totally was trying to seduce him while triggered, but after he shut it off I wanted nothing to do with sex. Not that I think I would've regretted it if we had, though. ;)

Anyhow, yay, working trigger. I'm pleased. :D

Ups and Downs

Wednesday or Thursday night we had a really good session. :D Nauzy repeated my reinduction trigger over and over, and I went into a wonderful space each time. I typically associate really deep trance with no movement, hardly any speaking, and an inability to feel one's body; accordingly, I don't consider myself deep/ don't go as deep if I have to move or talk a lot, and I really don't consider myself deep if I can feel where I am in space. When he used my trigger, I went deep. Didn't think, didn't move; I was there, everything was his voice and this grey-white-sparkly-fuzzy space. Very floaty and nice, kind of hard to do justice to. But when I'm there, I know it... even though I am not thinking about it. ;)

And last night was an off night. He tried the triggers, they worked, but not so well. I was in a trance, but not a good one and not a deep one. I wasn't getting into the right headspace; I was tangentially thinking, there was a lot of background noise. Just not a good night for it, so we called it quits instead of pushing. It did serve to remind me that even though we're getting a hell of a lot better with hypnosis, it's not gonna be perfect all the time. Just like with vanilla sex, or anything really: good or bad, there'll be days when it's just One Of Those days. And that's okay.

In less solemn news: Nauzy has indeed expressed interest in a freeze trigger for me. This is pretty exciting in that it's something he wants to do (as opposed to me telling him what I want), and in that I know he'll be deriving enjoyment from teasing me while I'm frozen.

My reactions to actually having a freeze trigger are actually mixed; I've never, ever been interested in them before, and they kind of scare me. I think part of it is fear of humiliation (freeze triggers remind me of hypnosis shows, which I don't like, as well as little tricks like making the subject forget a number or have her hands stuck together, which I hate and will not ever do.) Part of it's also the fear of not having a way out, or being frozen for long stretches at a time.

On that note, I should probably tell Nauzy these things. *runs off to do so*

More about triggers

Okay, fellow hypnobloggers: what kind of terminology do you use when you're talking about giving someone a trigger? I guess it's a bit like the debate I read on one of the forums about what to call a subject (subject, victim, hypnotee, partner in crime...). One term sounds too clinical, one too sinister, one too silly.

I suppose "give someone a trigger" works just fine, but it's wordy. I prefer "install" myself, but I think that comes across in an either non-consensual way or a fembot way. *shrug* I mean it in a programming-analogy way, because I think programming's rather sexy. And I like to make analogies out of everything, so there you go. That's the word I'll be using, anyways; feel free to sound off with your own words.

On that note, I have to confess that I lied in my last post. We did test my triggers last night, at my behest. You know, it's frustrating, sometimes, to get Nauzy to understand how badly I want to be hypnotized. I am to hypnosis as he is to sex, I guess, or even more so: I'm not comfortable with huge public displays of affection, but I'd be pretty thrilled to go under in public (and he's the opposite in both respects, of course. :p). I can honestly say that in nine cases out of ten, I'd rather be hypnotized than have an orgasm (at least when I've got my own personal hypnotist on the line ;).

So anyways, I asked if we could test the triggers, and he quite happily, I think, obliged. He tested the make-me-masturbate one first, though, when I was expecting the reinduction trigger. Figures. :p

The make-me-masturbate trigger (hereafter referred to as the "release trigger," as that's one of the words used) worked a lot better than I expected. I know that it was, at least in part, due to me already being worked up over his voice, but it worked and set a, uh, very hot precedent. Best orgasm I've had in days.

I had to remind him that I had one more trigger ("and the other one?" "uh..what other one?" "the reinduction trigger?" "oh yeah. Sleep."), and I was honestly kind of disappointed; I barely went under. However, I think I know the problem: usually when Nauzy hypnotizes me, I'm sitting up, and my head drops as I relax. Last night, I was lying down in my bed, and there wasn't too much head-dropping I could do. It's kind of annoying that head-dropping has become a factor in my going under, but there's not much we can do but practice and try to eliminate it. And even if it never works it's okay, since I go so deep so quickly when he's doing a full-out induction. Which I prefer anyways, it's such fun to struggle. :p

Finally, I think the best part of the night was after he'd woken me up, he said, "I would like you to find a few hours with lots of privacy, so we can just play with your triggers."

Yes!

Reliable Trance: Check.

Nauzy and I had been using a scale of one through ten to gauge how deep I've been going, with one as the deepest. This was probably not the best idea for two reasons: one because I am not a number person at all, and two because it was such a small scale. But it worked for us, at least until I broke it. :p

Once over the summer, and just last night, he asked me how deep I was. And I was so drifty and pliant that all I could come up with was "deep." So he went in and revisited two triggers that we've been flirting with; one to make me ridiculous amounts of horny (he's very keen on me wanting to masturbate uncontrollably), and one to put me back under. Haven't tested them yet, but we probably will tonight or tomorrow. Squee. (hm, scratch that, Heroes returns tonight; make that tomorrow or wednesday.)


One thing I would like to ramble about is his Voice. His non-hypno voice isn't really anything special, I have to say. It's quiet and slow and pretty normal-sounding, and I hadn't thought it would make a good Voice until he started his first induction.... and oh, how wrong I was. His Voice is the stuff of MC porn, I swear: it's smooth and rich and deep, and just flows over everything. Makes my eyelids droop oh-so pleasantly. :D

Triggers

(I did add my wonderful boyfriend as an author here, but I know that he won't post much. :p)

So triggers! I'll be honest and say that I am dying to have a really solid working one. As of now, I've got a couple that are lukewarm and don't do anything particularly sexy: a verbal one that puts me to sleep (literal sleep, as in before I go to bed, you :p), and a verbal one that puts me back into trance.

I suspect that the lukewarmidity of my triggers is due to my own preconceived notions about trance, and the fact that I'm still partly guiding 'Nauzy in what to do. Usually when I go under, I am still pretty lucid and my brain is, sadly, still running a commentary on what's going on. I'd like to think that when I'm really deep I won't think at all or have much memory of what happened in the trance.

This has, happily, happened a few times; I've woken up and been like "so, how far down did you count?" because I can't remember anything past 60. But that state has been tricky to recreate --I've got to be in just the right mindset-- and apparently there're no outward indicators of when I get there, no breathing changes or REM or anything.

At the moment, my reinduction trigger works, but it's not "zappy" enough for my tastes. He'll say the words, and I'll slump down and I definitely go under, but not very deep. Full inductions work better for me (and they're hotter. :p).

But we're working on that. I'd love a reinduction trigger that just puts me out into the forgetful-place, hopefully it's not impossible. I have to learn to relax, I guess (:p). To let go.

I once used the analogy that hypnotizing me was like programming my mind (he's a computer programmer, y'see), and 'Nauzy noted: "ah! 90 percent of it is debugging!"