so I just learned this about myself

I realllllly, really like having hickies. XD

hahahahahahaha

Remember that trigger Nauzy gave me, once upon a time, that made me feel drunk and horny? "Last friday night" was the wording of it.

I was listening to Katy Perry's new album (for purposes of entertainment and critique), and spittaked really hard when I heard this song.

My old trigger is totally a lyric in a pop song. Bahahahaha.

Fortunately, katy perry singing it did not trigger me. I'm almost positive it was keyed to Nauzy's voice, anyways. But yeah. I will have many secret giggles if that song gets released to the radio!

Hehehe

So, I work at a grocery store as a cashier. We're pretty much chained to our registers all day (haha, I wish that was literal >.>), so when there're no customers in our lines, we just kind of sit there, or talk to the other cashiers.

The other day I had no customers and no other cashiers in my booth. I was spacing out, daydreaming about something-or-other, when a customer comes up to my register with his groceries. "You looked like you were in a trance!" he said, enthusiastically joking.

I very nearly spittaked. "Yeah, I was off somewhere..."

"Where'd you go? Bermuda or someplace? It looked like it was nice, wherever you were."

I smirked as I started to ring him up. "Oh, yeah, when I go off in a trance, it's almost always pretty nice!"

"the vanillas"

So, us kinky people are, you know, kinky. And people who aren't kinky we refer to as "mundanes" or "vanillas," or "vanilla people" into "vanilla sex," coming from vanilla's reputation as a plain, even boring, flavor (even though vanilla is one of the more complex flavors... go figure).

It's not hard to find examples of kinky folks talking derisively about vanilla sex. Coming from the feminist perspective that I do, I tend to not join in on that sort of thing, since vanilla sexual expression is as valid a type of sexual expression as any other, and being all "OUR SIDE IS BETTER" when both sides are equally fine leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Still, sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's part of kink pride, which isn't a bad thing!

I mean, being kinky is still a diagnosable condition, at least until 2013 when the DSM-V comes out and you can have paraphilias or enjoy sadism without having a disorder. Kink is still not mainstream. Vanilla sex is what is represented in movies; indeed, usually if there's anything that can be read as kinky it's done without explicit consent and is pretty creepy.

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this, other than apparently someone in one of my my circles of friends was grossed out by my blog and said a bunch of misconceptions about BDSM when I wasn't there, and she was especially put off my use of the phrase "vanilla people." Even though I think "vanilla" is a totally valid descriptor for non-kinky sex, and when combined with "people," it is a perfectly humanizing turn of phrase.

But also, she said "and the concept of a "sex blog" bugs me too. It looks like a way of saying, "I have so much mind-blowing sex and it's like totally awesome!""

Um yes, yes it is. I have a lot of mind-blowing sexual experiences and it's totally awesome! Say it with me, folks!

Well!

So, Pseudonymous Dom tried to hypnotize me properly yesterday, just a basic induction and wake-up. It worked fine, but he said it was not what he was expecting, and he does not currently have the time to learn how to hypnotize me, though he's still interested in playing with me.

Given that I've got an offer to do hypno-play from somebody else, I am disappointed but okay with this. Actually, even if I didn't have another offer, I'd probably still be disappointed but okay. What am I supposed to do, tell somebody to spend emotional resources they don't have? :p

Anyhow, so that happened, and his fiancee and I and a few mutual friends went to Haven, for Pirate Night. Confession time: it was my first time going to a club ever! And it was a blast! I mean, I always figured I would like clubbing, it's dancing and alcohol and sexyness, and I like all of the above. But, you know, now I have empirical evidence to that effect.

And if I'm not mistaken, there was almost a threesome at the end of the night, which would have been interesting! Among other things! I will keep y'all posted! ;)

My new year's resolution: awesome sex all the time

Delicious drinks were had on new year's eve, and I've unscientifically determined a bit about alcohol and me! Basically, alcohol makes me really horny. Really horny. I remarked to Nauzy, "I'm not sure how much of the falling-all-over-you was the alcohol, and how much was my subconscious just wanting an excuse to grope you." Seriously. It was pretty fun.

Interestingly, I had no desire to go under, and indeed, I didn't, while I was intoxicated. Not for a lack of situations where I could've, though. When I'm sober, sometimes Nauzy'll whisper something hypnotic and sexy into my ear, and oops, down I go! He accommodates this by noting if I get motionless or limp (which is usually how I respond to trance), and snapping his fingers, which wakes me up.

Apparently I must've been clinging to him and seemed to go under, because he snapped his fingers at me a few times when I was not at all thinking about trance. I was not interested at all in going under: I was mostly thinking about sex. With him. Lots of it.

While this may seem uncharacteristically vanilla of me, it's really not! What I like about hypnosis is being out of control, and alcohol produces the same effect. The two states don't feel anything alike, mind you; it's just that when I'm intoxicated, there's no need to put me under because I'm already in a state I love to be in.

He used my "feel drunk" trigger later, when we were both sober. It worked (inasmuch as "feel drunk" is synonymous with "feel horny" for me), but it definitely needs to be strengthened now that I've had some real experience.

Meanwhile, my new year's resolution is getting off to a very good start. ;p

Hehehe

I don't usually do celebrity crushes, because they are quite pointless. But I can't help but have one on Lady Gaga, of all people. I mean, yeah, she is pretty hot, but also she has feminist sensibilities, (Boys, Boys, Boys, I mean), she is bisexual and she is pretty damn awesome on the being-gay-is-cool front.

But most importantly, who can resist someone who sings lyrics like this?

Car Trancing

He put me under in the car! (he was driving, of course.) And an interesting thing happened. Have you ever closed your eyes when someone else is driving, and tried to guess where you are based on how the car is moving? I'm usually waay off. This time, after I was woken up by a particularly silly phrase, I realized we were right where I figured, somewhere in the very back of my head, we would be. Interesting! Probably due more to the road we were on than the trance, but you never know.

Oh, and if you're wondering, the phrase was, "...and we'll hop out of the car and have a delicious burrito."

A Truly Awesome Analogy

He'd been telling me, when I was under, that I loved to be helpless, and helpless other things, helpless etc. Something about it was rubbing me the wrong way, so when he woke me up I explained it to him.

"I like helplessness... but only when it's with something else. I don't like being helpless in and of itself, but it's really hot when it's combined with obedience or being under your control." He nodded, I paused thoughtfully. "Kinda like ketchup. You wouldn't eat it with a spoon, but it tastes pretty great on burgers!"

Something to Blog About

Okay, I'm going to disappoint most of you, because this post is more about D/s than hypnosis. But it's relevant and recent and involving masturbation, so there. :p

We'd planned on having a good long session last night on voicechat, but Nauzy was falling asleep in his chair and had to wake me up, poor thing. Somehow he managed to pull the following off:

I was commenting about how sexy his voice sounded. His regular voice, hell, I said, even the sound of him typing sounded hot. "I think it's because I haven't masturbated in a week or so," I said. That's when he proceeded to hypnotize me briefly but wonderfully and wake me up. I should say that I've gotten really really good at getting into nice solid, passive trances lately; I don't stir if he pauses and I don't think much at all after he says the first few words. Though I don't go consistently much deeper than medium deep-blue, it's still pretty awesome. Progress, check!

So I told him it was okay that his sleep schedule was normalizing (he used to stay up until two in the morning, much to my chagrin), and we continued talking normally. We're like that. "Oh, time to go to sleep/ drive home/ get milk!" And then he pounces on me and I spend twenty minutes disentangling both of us. :p

Conversation drifted, and he asked me if I was in bed. "Obviously," I replied, vocally rolling my eyes. I always get in bed for hypnosis on voicechat.

"Well, I was just checking if you were all ready, because sometimes you aren't," he said, sounding kind of meek.

"You can yell at me, " I said. "I shouldn't've spoken back like that."

"Yeees... you should just respond blindly to my questions." He sounded terribly devious. I squirmed.

"Somehow, the idea of answering your questions blankly and without thinking is really, really hot," I said, squirming more. "I'm squirming really hard right now."

"I think you are going to start masturbating. Right now, get your hand down there!"

"oh, okay!" I kind of gasped. I'd never heard so much authority in his voice before.

"how wet are you?" Oops. I was touching myself, but through my sweatpants, so I had to scramble to check.

"WELL?" he demanded. I felt a tinge of fear, the good kind of fear. That was the kind of "well" that could hurt you. And I loved it.

"I, ah, not very."

"Well you're just going to have to masturbate anyways."

There was no room for debate there. And I wanted to anyways, so I did. And wow. I forget what he said after that, but it pushed my buttons like nothing else. I gasped again and came pretty hard.

"Good girl..." he cooed. Now, he's said good girl before, but man, last night I really felt it. I felt completely submissive and more dominated than I've ever been by Nauzy. Incredible and wonderful and oh-so right.

And then he commanded me to go to bed, and I slept very deeply, dreaming of hypno-superheroes and lesbians.

Later!