So, I moved to Western Massachusetts in May. I attended my first munch out here in late June, and fell in with the local kinky crowd. Because classes haven't started yet, most of the people I consider friends are in the local Scene, and that's where I know them from (the other subset of people I know out here are coworkers).
With that in mind, I had an entirely hilarious dialogue with my dad today.
Dad: So, what'd you do all summer?
Me: oh, hung out with friends...
Dad: oh yeah? How'd you make friends?
Me: *palpable pause*
Me: *lightbulb* A knitting group! :D
Dad: *totally buying it* Yeah, that's the great thing about college, there's all sorts of clubs... if you want to do something, you can do it!
I'm totally amused that knitting is my cover for kinky shenanigans ("A knitting group" is also the reason I told my boss I needed tuesdays off). I mean, It's not entirely a lie. I am a knitter, and I did go to one meeting of a knitting group out here. I just haven't been back, because I've been doing things with my kinky friends at the time they meet!
Showing posts with label vanilla folk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vanilla folk. Show all posts
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Extra Good
...the title of this post comes from an exchange I had with a customer at work on Saturday.
"Hi, how're you?" I chirped in my best be-nice-to-the-customer voice.
"Extra good!" He said. He was young, handsome, buying beer and a few other random items.
"Oh, that's good to hear, " I said, and finished ringing him up. "Here's your reciept, I hope the rest of your night continues to be extra good!"
"Yeah, you too," he replied.
"Oh, hehe, it will be."
I also came out to two coworkers. There was a big party (a get-drunk, vanilla one) the same night as the play party, that I was not, of course, attending. A few people were asking why I wasn't going, and I explained by saying that the other event I was going to was "not safe for work," which evidently really piques people's curiosities. When they pressed, I figured I could trust them, and said "A BDSM dungeon."
One of them, this girl I have a bit of a crush on, was like "oh, that's so cool!" to which I replied, "You could go if you wanted to!"
"Yeah, but I'm not really into that sort of stuff."
"Actually, it's erotic hypnosis night, so you don't have to be into the, er, hard-hitting sort of stuff.*"
And she made an interested "wait, what? really?" kind of face and said "wow, hmmm. That's really interesting."
I still got a "not really interested" sort of vibe, but spreading the word and all. >:D
*also, sweet unmerciful cthulhu, when will the puns stop?!
"Hi, how're you?" I chirped in my best be-nice-to-the-customer voice.
"Extra good!" He said. He was young, handsome, buying beer and a few other random items.
"Oh, that's good to hear, " I said, and finished ringing him up. "Here's your reciept, I hope the rest of your night continues to be extra good!"
"Yeah, you too," he replied.
"Oh, hehe, it will be."
I also came out to two coworkers. There was a big party (a get-drunk, vanilla one) the same night as the play party, that I was not, of course, attending. A few people were asking why I wasn't going, and I explained by saying that the other event I was going to was "not safe for work," which evidently really piques people's curiosities. When they pressed, I figured I could trust them, and said "A BDSM dungeon."
One of them, this girl I have a bit of a crush on, was like "oh, that's so cool!" to which I replied, "You could go if you wanted to!"
"Yeah, but I'm not really into that sort of stuff."
"Actually, it's erotic hypnosis night, so you don't have to be into the, er, hard-hitting sort of stuff.*"
And she made an interested "wait, what? really?" kind of face and said "wow, hmmm. That's really interesting."
I still got a "not really interested" sort of vibe, but spreading the word and all. >:D
*also, sweet unmerciful cthulhu, when will the puns stop?!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Aha!
Now I remember. The suggestion was that... when blogging about the skyping I did with AmHypnotic last night, whenever I started a new paragraph, I'd find myself saying "obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience," without even thinking about it. And when I hit the "publish post" button, I was supposed to, and I found, that my eyes fluttered shut and I chanted "obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience" a handful of times. Which was incredibly hot because it was so automatic.
Unfortunately, it seemed that I was... trying to hard for it to work? Or thinking about it too much. I knew I was supposed to do something, but didn't know what, and didn't want to know what. And, like I described, I ended up trancing a bit and being unable to write about what we did at all. Which is a shame, because I love the idea of being commanded to do something without thinking about it. We'll have to tweak it.
Anyhow, we still did a lot of fun things! First, we played with some mantras. Well, actually, first he triggered me to put me under, then deepened me a bit, then told me to repeat the following mantra, just once: "Obedience is Pleasure, Pleasure is Obedience."
I shivered a little bit. "Obedience is Pleasure, Pleasure is Obedience."
"Good Girl. Now, in a minute, I'm going to ask you to chant that phrase, over and over. While you're chanting, you may hear me saying some things, but your conscious mind might not pick up on them." But, of course, my subconscious would hear whatever he said just fine, would remember it totally. My subconscious would even enjoy keeping this particular suggestion a secret from my conscious mind, it would be a fun game.
So, I began chanting. "obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience...." And I could hear him saying things, but I couldn't pick up anything more than a word or a phrase here and there. Or, at times when I could make out a sentence, it would go in one ear and out the other, kind of slippery-like.
At the time, of course, I didn't know it, but his suggestion was that whenever he said the words "finger" or "fingers" or "hands" or "hand," or variations thereon, I'd feel as if he was fingering me, for just a few seconds.
He woke me up. "So, how're you feeling?"
"I'm good!"
"Good! So, we weren't able to play much, physically, at the Society last weekend, but maybe you should tell me the kinds of things you do like before we see each other again. You like feeling my hands on you--"
I moaned. Kind of loudly.
"Uh, so, you really like the idea of feeling my hands on you, huh?
"Aaaahhh... uh, yes?" I gasped, my back arching a little.
"You're looking forward to me fingering you?"
I jerked. "Oh god ohgod... yes...ah!"
He toyed with me a little more like that, then dropped the pretense of trying to have a conversation and just started talking about how good his fingers felt, and how nice his hands were, and fingers, hands, fingers, hands... And I was quickly becoming a sweaty pile of submissiveness.
He relented, finally, and told me to remember, and I laughed and sighed happily, and we chatted about some further ideas for play that night. "By the way," he said after a bit. "How good are you at multitasking?"
I was in subspace, so my answer was entirely rambly. "Well, I prefer to do one thing at a time, like, if I'm writing, I have to shut the music off, or I can't think, like, if I'm studying, or blogging. It's kind of like-- there's a name for it-- you read xkcd, right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, there was a strip a while back, titled "Qwertial Aphasia," and it's like, this thing where you're tying one thing, and hearing another, so you throw in one of the words you heard, even though you didn't mean to type it. In the strip, the guy says, "I can't afford to keep eating out this giraffe," because someone's talking about stuffed giraffes behind him. Anyhow, that has happened to me when I've tried to listen to stuff and write at the same time."
I suddenly realized what we were talking about. "Why, what kinds of things did you have in mind?"
He laughed quietly, but evilly. "Now why would I tell you that?"
I giggled, pleased that he wasn't going to tell me.
After getting my consent for the next scene we were going to do, he triggered me and put me under. This time, the suggestion was that whenever he said "feel pleasure," I would feel him doing something to me, stuff that I liked. It would vary and change each time he used the phrase "feel pleasure," it wouldn't just be the same sensation over and over. I would continue feeling whatever sensation it was until he either said "stop pleasure," I came, or we lost the connection. Also, whenever he said "what are you feeling?" I would effortlessly and easily describe it to him. And this time, I would forget that the entire trance happened. It would seem to me as if we were still having the conversation we were having before. My subconscious would be amused to keep this secret from my conscious mind.
He woke me up. I wondered aloud if my roommate had gotten back from work yet, and he asked what the note I'd left her said. Still subspace-tastic, I rambily (that is totally now a word) told him how I'd made curry for both of us for dinner, so the note detailed where that was in the fridge, and that I'd put at the end "by the time you read this, I'll be skyping with the hypnotist I met on Saturday, so please don't disturb me unless it's an emergency!"
AmHypnotic chuckled, and chuckled some more when I told him how my roommate had double-taked when I told her I went to a BDSM dungeon to meet a hypnotist ("yeah, hypnosis is kind of up-and-coming in the kink world. ...no pun intended."*) Eventually he worked the phrase "feel pleasure" into a sentence, and smirked audibly when I moaned.
"What are you feeling now?"
"You're fingering me," I responded without thinking, not quite in a monotone, but in something that was similar to my trance voice.
"Good girl. Feel pleasure."
"Oh, oh, oh, ohhhhh..."
"And what are you feeling now?"
"You're rubbing your thumb over my clit..."
"Good girl. Stop pleasure."
I exhaled, relaxed a bit.
"Feel pleasure."
And I tensed back up! We kept going like that, my mind having him do everything from biting my neck to outright fucking me, hard.
Then I heard my roommate come back from work.
"You've gone quiet," AmHypnotic noted.
"Yeah," I said, biting my lip. "I'm trying to control myself, lest my roommate hear me. I mean, I did turn on the fan in the other room, but I've been being kinda loud." And I can be quiet when I moan, or at least, I can be quiet-ish. Muffled. If I have to be.
"I think you can feel yourself losing control, though..." he started. "Feel pleasure."
I whimpered.
"That's right... give in to it. Submit to it. Surrender. Feel pleasure."
My roommate's hearing ability was the last thing on my mind at this point. I was in a wonderful, loud, mindless haze, feeling all my favorite sensations and hearing a sexy hypnotist say all my favorite words. It was fucking amazing. /understatement
After a little while, he made me come, which was, you know, hot. :p And then he made me come again, but told me to be totally relaxed during it. That was interesting. I kind of felt like I was floating underwater, except the water flowing around me was the waves of my very drawn-out orgasm. It was nice, but when it ended, I decided I liked the tense-and-thrashy kind of orgasm better.
"Yeah, you're prone to squirming, huh?"
"Yeah, but no, when I'm coming, I thrash."
He chuckled.
"Playing with you is fun," I said, very happy, a big subby grin on my face.
We chatted for a bit about this terrible, terrible documentary on BDSM we watched the other night. It's titled Fetishes, and it's on hulu, if you're stateside and curious. It's mostly about this one professional dungeon in New York City, but it never goes into detail about the other facts of BDSM, despite presenting itself as a Thorough Documentary On BDSM (I mean, the social scene is pretty different, hello). The narrator/documentor also does various stupid things like interrupting people when they're answering his questions, fucking up BDSM terminology ("the submissives are called slaves,"), only showing negotiation once, and interviewing people mid-scene. Mid-scene!
"Seriously, I mean, you've heard me, there's nooo way I could say anything cogent about BDSM in this mindset, " I said, smirking.
" 'BDSM is, like, fun, and... stuff!' " AmHypnotic mocked.
I giggled, then started, because I could hear my phone ringing across the room.
"Something you need to get?"
"Yeah, sorry, I should see who it is, be right back."
He waited patiently (or impatiently, I'm not sure :p), 'till I got back and put my headset back on. "Speaking of giving interviews," I said. "That was my mother."
Not the first time she's called me in the midst of sex, or kink, but what timing, right? I was pretty amused.
Then, let's see.. in the notes I jotted down for myself, after my mom called I have "definitely a big blank space" written, which I'm pretty sure means this was when he gave me the "chant mantra when blogging" suggestions that I detailed at the beginning of this post. After that we were pretty much done for the night. I asked for the time, and he said it had only been an hour. "Jeez, I lose time like woah," I said.
"Did you feel like we did more stuff, or that time flew by, or what?" AmHypnotic asked.
"Um... the amount of stuff we did tonight, it just feels like they should've taken up more time," I replied. Which, you know, can't complain, it means I have more free time!
Anyhow, that's it for this post. Tomorrow's the New England Hypnosis Group's play party at the Society, which I will be attending. I am really, really excited for it, seriously, I am going to be all distracted at work today, thinking about all the kinky shit I'll be getting up to in 24 hours. :D
* I have been making SO MANY terrible, terrible puns lately, without trying at all. I kind of feel like somebody's hypnotized me to make all these puns, but I don't seem to recall anything of the sort... ;)
Unfortunately, it seemed that I was... trying to hard for it to work? Or thinking about it too much. I knew I was supposed to do something, but didn't know what, and didn't want to know what. And, like I described, I ended up trancing a bit and being unable to write about what we did at all. Which is a shame, because I love the idea of being commanded to do something without thinking about it. We'll have to tweak it.
Anyhow, we still did a lot of fun things! First, we played with some mantras. Well, actually, first he triggered me to put me under, then deepened me a bit, then told me to repeat the following mantra, just once: "Obedience is Pleasure, Pleasure is Obedience."
I shivered a little bit. "Obedience is Pleasure, Pleasure is Obedience."
"Good Girl. Now, in a minute, I'm going to ask you to chant that phrase, over and over. While you're chanting, you may hear me saying some things, but your conscious mind might not pick up on them." But, of course, my subconscious would hear whatever he said just fine, would remember it totally. My subconscious would even enjoy keeping this particular suggestion a secret from my conscious mind, it would be a fun game.
So, I began chanting. "obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience...." And I could hear him saying things, but I couldn't pick up anything more than a word or a phrase here and there. Or, at times when I could make out a sentence, it would go in one ear and out the other, kind of slippery-like.
At the time, of course, I didn't know it, but his suggestion was that whenever he said the words "finger" or "fingers" or "hands" or "hand," or variations thereon, I'd feel as if he was fingering me, for just a few seconds.
He woke me up. "So, how're you feeling?"
"I'm good!"
"Good! So, we weren't able to play much, physically, at the Society last weekend, but maybe you should tell me the kinds of things you do like before we see each other again. You like feeling my hands on you--"
I moaned. Kind of loudly.
"Uh, so, you really like the idea of feeling my hands on you, huh?
"Aaaahhh... uh, yes?" I gasped, my back arching a little.
"You're looking forward to me fingering you?"
I jerked. "Oh god ohgod... yes...ah!"
He toyed with me a little more like that, then dropped the pretense of trying to have a conversation and just started talking about how good his fingers felt, and how nice his hands were, and fingers, hands, fingers, hands... And I was quickly becoming a sweaty pile of submissiveness.
He relented, finally, and told me to remember, and I laughed and sighed happily, and we chatted about some further ideas for play that night. "By the way," he said after a bit. "How good are you at multitasking?"
I was in subspace, so my answer was entirely rambly. "Well, I prefer to do one thing at a time, like, if I'm writing, I have to shut the music off, or I can't think, like, if I'm studying, or blogging. It's kind of like-- there's a name for it-- you read xkcd, right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, there was a strip a while back, titled "Qwertial Aphasia," and it's like, this thing where you're tying one thing, and hearing another, so you throw in one of the words you heard, even though you didn't mean to type it. In the strip, the guy says, "I can't afford to keep eating out this giraffe," because someone's talking about stuffed giraffes behind him. Anyhow, that has happened to me when I've tried to listen to stuff and write at the same time."
I suddenly realized what we were talking about. "Why, what kinds of things did you have in mind?"
He laughed quietly, but evilly. "Now why would I tell you that?"
I giggled, pleased that he wasn't going to tell me.
After getting my consent for the next scene we were going to do, he triggered me and put me under. This time, the suggestion was that whenever he said "feel pleasure," I would feel him doing something to me, stuff that I liked. It would vary and change each time he used the phrase "feel pleasure," it wouldn't just be the same sensation over and over. I would continue feeling whatever sensation it was until he either said "stop pleasure," I came, or we lost the connection. Also, whenever he said "what are you feeling?" I would effortlessly and easily describe it to him. And this time, I would forget that the entire trance happened. It would seem to me as if we were still having the conversation we were having before. My subconscious would be amused to keep this secret from my conscious mind.
He woke me up. I wondered aloud if my roommate had gotten back from work yet, and he asked what the note I'd left her said. Still subspace-tastic, I rambily (that is totally now a word) told him how I'd made curry for both of us for dinner, so the note detailed where that was in the fridge, and that I'd put at the end "by the time you read this, I'll be skyping with the hypnotist I met on Saturday, so please don't disturb me unless it's an emergency!"
AmHypnotic chuckled, and chuckled some more when I told him how my roommate had double-taked when I told her I went to a BDSM dungeon to meet a hypnotist ("yeah, hypnosis is kind of up-and-coming in the kink world. ...no pun intended."*) Eventually he worked the phrase "feel pleasure" into a sentence, and smirked audibly when I moaned.
"What are you feeling now?"
"You're fingering me," I responded without thinking, not quite in a monotone, but in something that was similar to my trance voice.
"Good girl. Feel pleasure."
"Oh, oh, oh, ohhhhh..."
"And what are you feeling now?"
"You're rubbing your thumb over my clit..."
"Good girl. Stop pleasure."
I exhaled, relaxed a bit.
"Feel pleasure."
And I tensed back up! We kept going like that, my mind having him do everything from biting my neck to outright fucking me, hard.
Then I heard my roommate come back from work.
"You've gone quiet," AmHypnotic noted.
"Yeah," I said, biting my lip. "I'm trying to control myself, lest my roommate hear me. I mean, I did turn on the fan in the other room, but I've been being kinda loud." And I can be quiet when I moan, or at least, I can be quiet-ish. Muffled. If I have to be.
"I think you can feel yourself losing control, though..." he started. "Feel pleasure."
I whimpered.
"That's right... give in to it. Submit to it. Surrender. Feel pleasure."
My roommate's hearing ability was the last thing on my mind at this point. I was in a wonderful, loud, mindless haze, feeling all my favorite sensations and hearing a sexy hypnotist say all my favorite words. It was fucking amazing. /understatement
After a little while, he made me come, which was, you know, hot. :p And then he made me come again, but told me to be totally relaxed during it. That was interesting. I kind of felt like I was floating underwater, except the water flowing around me was the waves of my very drawn-out orgasm. It was nice, but when it ended, I decided I liked the tense-and-thrashy kind of orgasm better.
"Yeah, you're prone to squirming, huh?"
"Yeah, but no, when I'm coming, I thrash."
He chuckled.
"Playing with you is fun," I said, very happy, a big subby grin on my face.
We chatted for a bit about this terrible, terrible documentary on BDSM we watched the other night. It's titled Fetishes, and it's on hulu, if you're stateside and curious. It's mostly about this one professional dungeon in New York City, but it never goes into detail about the other facts of BDSM, despite presenting itself as a Thorough Documentary On BDSM (I mean, the social scene is pretty different, hello). The narrator/documentor also does various stupid things like interrupting people when they're answering his questions, fucking up BDSM terminology ("the submissives are called slaves,"), only showing negotiation once, and interviewing people mid-scene. Mid-scene!
"Seriously, I mean, you've heard me, there's nooo way I could say anything cogent about BDSM in this mindset, " I said, smirking.
" 'BDSM is, like, fun, and... stuff!' " AmHypnotic mocked.
I giggled, then started, because I could hear my phone ringing across the room.
"Something you need to get?"
"Yeah, sorry, I should see who it is, be right back."
He waited patiently (or impatiently, I'm not sure :p), 'till I got back and put my headset back on. "Speaking of giving interviews," I said. "That was my mother."
Not the first time she's called me in the midst of sex, or kink, but what timing, right? I was pretty amused.
Then, let's see.. in the notes I jotted down for myself, after my mom called I have "definitely a big blank space" written, which I'm pretty sure means this was when he gave me the "chant mantra when blogging" suggestions that I detailed at the beginning of this post. After that we were pretty much done for the night. I asked for the time, and he said it had only been an hour. "Jeez, I lose time like woah," I said.
"Did you feel like we did more stuff, or that time flew by, or what?" AmHypnotic asked.
"Um... the amount of stuff we did tonight, it just feels like they should've taken up more time," I replied. Which, you know, can't complain, it means I have more free time!
Anyhow, that's it for this post. Tomorrow's the New England Hypnosis Group's play party at the Society, which I will be attending. I am really, really excited for it, seriously, I am going to be all distracted at work today, thinking about all the kinky shit I'll be getting up to in 24 hours. :D
* I have been making SO MANY terrible, terrible puns lately, without trying at all. I kind of feel like somebody's hypnotized me to make all these puns, but I don't seem to recall anything of the sort... ;)
Friday, July 30, 2010
"the vanillas"
So, us kinky people are, you know, kinky. And people who aren't kinky we refer to as "mundanes" or "vanillas," or "vanilla people" into "vanilla sex," coming from vanilla's reputation as a plain, even boring, flavor (even though vanilla is one of the more complex flavors... go figure).
It's not hard to find examples of kinky folks talking derisively about vanilla sex. Coming from the feminist perspective that I do, I tend to not join in on that sort of thing, since vanilla sexual expression is as valid a type of sexual expression as any other, and being all "OUR SIDE IS BETTER" when both sides are equally fine leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Still, sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's part of kink pride, which isn't a bad thing!
I mean, being kinky is still a diagnosable condition, at least until 2013 when the DSM-V comes out and you can have paraphilias or enjoy sadism without having a disorder. Kink is still not mainstream. Vanilla sex is what is represented in movies; indeed, usually if there's anything that can be read as kinky it's done without explicit consent and is pretty creepy.
I'm really not sure where I'm going with this, other than apparently someone in one of my my circles of friends was grossed out by my blog and said a bunch of misconceptions about BDSM when I wasn't there, and she was especially put off my use of the phrase "vanilla people." Even though I think "vanilla" is a totally valid descriptor for non-kinky sex, and when combined with "people," it is a perfectly humanizing turn of phrase.
But also, she said "and the concept of a "sex blog" bugs me too. It looks like a way of saying, "I have so much mind-blowing sex and it's like totally awesome!""
Um yes, yes it is. I have a lot of mind-blowing sexual experiences and it's totally awesome! Say it with me, folks!
It's not hard to find examples of kinky folks talking derisively about vanilla sex. Coming from the feminist perspective that I do, I tend to not join in on that sort of thing, since vanilla sexual expression is as valid a type of sexual expression as any other, and being all "OUR SIDE IS BETTER" when both sides are equally fine leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Still, sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's part of kink pride, which isn't a bad thing!
I mean, being kinky is still a diagnosable condition, at least until 2013 when the DSM-V comes out and you can have paraphilias or enjoy sadism without having a disorder. Kink is still not mainstream. Vanilla sex is what is represented in movies; indeed, usually if there's anything that can be read as kinky it's done without explicit consent and is pretty creepy.
I'm really not sure where I'm going with this, other than apparently someone in one of my my circles of friends was grossed out by my blog and said a bunch of misconceptions about BDSM when I wasn't there, and she was especially put off my use of the phrase "vanilla people." Even though I think "vanilla" is a totally valid descriptor for non-kinky sex, and when combined with "people," it is a perfectly humanizing turn of phrase.
But also, she said "and the concept of a "sex blog" bugs me too. It looks like a way of saying, "I have so much mind-blowing sex and it's like totally awesome!""
Um yes, yes it is. I have a lot of mind-blowing sexual experiences and it's totally awesome! Say it with me, folks!
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