Aha!

Now I remember. The suggestion was that... when blogging about the skyping I did with AmHypnotic last night, whenever I started a new paragraph, I'd find myself saying "obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience," without even thinking about it. And when I hit the "publish post" button, I was supposed to, and I found, that my eyes fluttered shut and I chanted "obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience" a handful of times. Which was incredibly hot because it was so automatic.

Unfortunately, it seemed that I was... trying to hard for it to work? Or thinking about it too much. I knew I was supposed to do something, but didn't know what, and didn't want to know what. And, like I described, I ended up trancing a bit and being unable to write about what we did at all. Which is a shame, because I love the idea of being commanded to do something without thinking about it. We'll have to tweak it.

Anyhow, we still did a lot of fun things! First, we played with some mantras. Well, actually, first he triggered me to put me under, then deepened me a bit, then told me to repeat the following mantra, just once: "Obedience is Pleasure, Pleasure is Obedience."

I shivered a little bit. "Obedience is Pleasure, Pleasure is Obedience."

"Good Girl. Now, in a minute, I'm going to ask you to chant that phrase, over and over. While you're chanting, you may hear me saying some things, but your conscious mind might not pick up on them." But, of course, my subconscious would hear whatever he said just fine, would remember it totally. My subconscious would even enjoy keeping this particular suggestion a secret from my conscious mind, it would be a fun game.

So, I began chanting. "obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience. obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience...." And I could hear him saying things, but I couldn't pick up anything more than a word or a phrase here and there. Or, at times when I could make out a sentence, it would go in one ear and out the other, kind of slippery-like.

At the time, of course, I didn't know it, but his suggestion was that whenever he said the words "finger" or "fingers" or "hands" or "hand," or variations thereon, I'd feel as if he was fingering me, for just a few seconds.

He woke me up. "So, how're you feeling?"

"I'm good!"

"Good! So, we weren't able to play much, physically, at the Society last weekend, but maybe you should tell me the kinds of things you do like before we see each other again. You like feeling my hands on you--"

I moaned. Kind of loudly.

"Uh, so, you really like the idea of feeling my hands on you, huh?

"Aaaahhh... uh, yes?" I gasped, my back arching a little.

"You're looking forward to me fingering you?"

I jerked. "Oh god ohgod... yes...ah!"

He toyed with me a little more like that, then dropped the pretense of trying to have a conversation and just started talking about how good his fingers felt, and how nice his hands were, and fingers, hands, fingers, hands... And I was quickly becoming a sweaty pile of submissiveness.

He relented, finally, and told me to remember, and I laughed and sighed happily, and we chatted about some further ideas for play that night. "By the way," he said after a bit. "How good are you at multitasking?"

I was in subspace, so my answer was entirely rambly. "Well, I prefer to do one thing at a time, like, if I'm writing, I have to shut the music off, or I can't think, like, if I'm studying, or blogging. It's kind of like-- there's a name for it-- you read xkcd, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there was a strip a while back, titled "Qwertial Aphasia," and it's like, this thing where you're tying one thing, and hearing another, so you throw in one of the words you heard, even though you didn't mean to type it. In the strip, the guy says, "I can't afford to keep eating out this giraffe," because someone's talking about stuffed giraffes behind him. Anyhow, that has happened to me when I've tried to listen to stuff and write at the same time."

I suddenly realized what we were talking about. "Why, what kinds of things did you have in mind?"

He laughed quietly, but evilly. "Now why would I tell you that?"

I giggled, pleased that he wasn't going to tell me.

After getting my consent for the next scene we were going to do, he triggered me and put me under. This time, the suggestion was that whenever he said "feel pleasure," I would feel him doing something to me, stuff that I liked. It would vary and change each time he used the phrase "feel pleasure," it wouldn't just be the same sensation over and over. I would continue feeling whatever sensation it was until he either said "stop pleasure," I came, or we lost the connection. Also, whenever he said "what are you feeling?" I would effortlessly and easily describe it to him. And this time, I would forget that the entire trance happened. It would seem to me as if we were still having the conversation we were having before. My subconscious would be amused to keep this secret from my conscious mind.

He woke me up. I wondered aloud if my roommate had gotten back from work yet, and he asked what the note I'd left her said. Still subspace-tastic, I rambily (that is totally now a word) told him how I'd made curry for both of us for dinner, so the note detailed where that was in the fridge, and that I'd put at the end "by the time you read this, I'll be skyping with the hypnotist I met on Saturday, so please don't disturb me unless it's an emergency!"

AmHypnotic chuckled, and chuckled some more when I told him how my roommate had double-taked when I told her I went to a BDSM dungeon to meet a hypnotist ("yeah, hypnosis is kind of up-and-coming in the kink world. ...no pun intended."*) Eventually he worked the phrase "feel pleasure" into a sentence, and smirked audibly when I moaned.

"What are you feeling now?"

"You're fingering me," I responded without thinking, not quite in a monotone, but in something that was similar to my trance voice.

"Good girl. Feel pleasure."

"Oh, oh, oh, ohhhhh..."

"And what are you feeling now?"

"You're rubbing your thumb over my clit..."

"Good girl. Stop pleasure."

I exhaled, relaxed a bit.

"Feel pleasure."

And I tensed back up! We kept going like that, my mind having him do everything from biting my neck to outright fucking me, hard.

Then I heard my roommate come back from work.

"You've gone quiet," AmHypnotic noted.

"Yeah," I said, biting my lip. "I'm trying to control myself, lest my roommate hear me. I mean, I did turn on the fan in the other room, but I've been being kinda loud." And I can be quiet when I moan, or at least, I can be quiet-ish. Muffled. If I have to be.

"I think you can feel yourself losing control, though..." he started. "Feel pleasure."

I whimpered.

"That's right... give in to it. Submit to it. Surrender. Feel pleasure."

My roommate's hearing ability was the last thing on my mind at this point. I was in a wonderful, loud, mindless haze, feeling all my favorite sensations and hearing a sexy hypnotist say all my favorite words. It was fucking amazing. /understatement

After a little while, he made me come, which was, you know, hot. :p And then he made me come again, but told me to be totally relaxed during it. That was interesting. I kind of felt like I was floating underwater, except the water flowing around me was the waves of my very drawn-out orgasm. It was nice, but when it ended, I decided I liked the tense-and-thrashy kind of orgasm better.

"Yeah, you're prone to squirming, huh?"

"Yeah, but no, when I'm coming, I thrash."

He chuckled.

"Playing with you is fun," I said, very happy, a big subby grin on my face.

We chatted for a bit about this terrible, terrible documentary on BDSM we watched the other night. It's titled Fetishes, and it's on hulu, if you're stateside and curious. It's mostly about this one professional dungeon in New York City, but it never goes into detail about the other facts of BDSM, despite presenting itself as a Thorough Documentary On BDSM (I mean, the social scene is pretty different, hello). The narrator/documentor also does various stupid things like interrupting people when they're answering his questions, fucking up BDSM terminology ("the submissives are called slaves,"), only showing negotiation once, and interviewing people mid-scene. Mid-scene!

"Seriously, I mean, you've heard me, there's nooo way I could say anything cogent about BDSM in this mindset, " I said, smirking.

" 'BDSM is, like, fun, and... stuff!' " AmHypnotic mocked.

I giggled, then started, because I could hear my phone ringing across the room.

"Something you need to get?"

"Yeah, sorry, I should see who it is, be right back."

He waited patiently (or impatiently, I'm not sure :p), 'till I got back and put my headset back on. "Speaking of giving interviews," I said. "That was my mother."

Not the first time she's called me in the midst of sex, or kink, but what timing, right? I was pretty amused.

Then, let's see.. in the notes I jotted down for myself, after my mom called I have "definitely a big blank space" written, which I'm pretty sure means this was when he gave me the "chant mantra when blogging" suggestions that I detailed at the beginning of this post. After that we were pretty much done for the night. I asked for the time, and he said it had only been an hour. "Jeez, I lose time like woah," I said.

"Did you feel like we did more stuff, or that time flew by, or what?" AmHypnotic asked.

"Um... the amount of stuff we did tonight, it just feels like they should've taken up more time," I replied. Which, you know, can't complain, it means I have more free time!

Anyhow, that's it for this post. Tomorrow's the New England Hypnosis Group's play party at the Society, which I will be attending. I am really, really excited for it, seriously, I am going to be all distracted at work today, thinking about all the kinky shit I'll be getting up to in 24 hours. :D


* I have been making SO MANY terrible, terrible puns lately, without trying at all. I kind of feel like somebody's hypnotized me to make all these puns, but I don't seem to recall anything of the sort... ;)