PSA

So, Pseudonymous Dom and I broke up. Not related to the sex, just personal differences.

Kinky Sexting!

One thing Pseudonymous Dom is good at, in marked and very pleasant contrast to Nauzy, is his liberal use of social networking sites and text messages. Last night we were texting back and forth, and I said something about how all of the text-attention I was getting was making me feel awfully submissive, and he was surprised to hear that. He said, "someday I will learn how to work you properly, and it will he hot."

Something about the idea of "getting worked" has been driving me to distraction all day.

And today we were texting about how I have a meeting for work at 10:30 at night (yes, on a regular basis), and how my sleep schedule is totally fucked up, so it's not so bad. It's worth mentioning at this point that I self-identify as a morning person, but since I met Pseudonymous Dom, I've foregone my early rising for lots of late-night sexcapades.

"and whose fault is that?" he asked.
"yours :p :p"
"that is correct. don't you forget it."

I squirmed. Nothing like being talked sternly to to make me feel submissive!

Humiliation/Degradation

The other day I added "curious about degradation" to my fetlife list. It's been something I've been mulling over lately.

Pseudonymous Dom foisted a game of Columns (a strategy game) on me the other day. I'd never played before, and lost spectacularly. I hate losing games. Losing means that I am not competent at whatever game it is, that the other person is better and I have to recognize that. It's embarrassing. It emphasizes a power differential, in a way, between me and whomever I'm playing with. With my siblings, this situation is kind of weird. With a Dom I'm currently fucking, on the other hand...

And then, last night when I was a little drunk (or maybe a lot drunk, I'm not sure), I wandered into this IRC channel I hang out in. Lately that chan has been hearing a lot about my sex life, so I was blathering about how I wanted to get laid but couldn't because I was on vacation. This guy who was new to the chan, who I assume to be around my age, was hitting on me. We bantered for a while, I said some stupid stuff to my ex, and went to bed. I didn't think much of flirting with that guy.

Today, I log in, and said guy is there, pinging me repeatedly and annoyingly. We have the following exchange:

19:53 Arel: Dropkick: so who are you again?
19:53 Dropkick: MSPA dude
19:53 Ginger: The one who's going to DC.
19:53 Ginger: And isn't kinky.
19:53 Arel: ginger, hahahahaha
19:53 Arel: that's right.
19:53 Dropkick: right
19:53 Dropkick: that was me last night
19:53 Arel: I remember!
19:54 Dropkick: I'm sure you do Miss BDSM Bottom
19:55 Arel: I actually identify as a sub, thank you very much :p
19:55 Dropkick: I'm just taking the reference of the opposite of what you requested for in a partner, Arel

This turned me on, so of course the first thing I did was intellectualize it. :p He was talking down to me, and was basically pointing out that he knew some information that I didn't. AND he was making me feel silly and stupid while referencing a time when I'd been horny and foggy-minded and vulnerable.

See, like, I don't think I'd want to be put in a truly humiliating situation, but a little bit of it, like being put in my place or being made to feel helpless, so far seems to be sexy! I will keep an eye out for similar situations in the future.

Well!

So, Pseudonymous Dom tried to hypnotize me properly yesterday, just a basic induction and wake-up. It worked fine, but he said it was not what he was expecting, and he does not currently have the time to learn how to hypnotize me, though he's still interested in playing with me.

Given that I've got an offer to do hypno-play from somebody else, I am disappointed but okay with this. Actually, even if I didn't have another offer, I'd probably still be disappointed but okay. What am I supposed to do, tell somebody to spend emotional resources they don't have? :p

Anyhow, so that happened, and his fiancee and I and a few mutual friends went to Haven, for Pirate Night. Confession time: it was my first time going to a club ever! And it was a blast! I mean, I always figured I would like clubbing, it's dancing and alcohol and sexyness, and I like all of the above. But, you know, now I have empirical evidence to that effect.

And if I'm not mistaken, there was almost a threesome at the end of the night, which would have been interesting! Among other things! I will keep y'all posted! ;)

I believe the best way to title this post is "omgyes"

So, he left, and I grumbled something about being all hot and bothered, thinking about how tired I am of getting off to porn recently. Something about having the real thing dangling right in front of your face makes reading inductions to get off kind of a drag. I brushed my teeth and got into bed, then it occurred to me that I should check my text messages, see if my roommate had responded to my "hey, I has a dude over, FYI"

She had, but I also had a second message! "You still up?" it had been sent twenty minutes ago.
"ah, well, I'm in bed, but yes, still awake," I thumbed.
"I was wondering if you wanted me to finish what I started with the kiss I gave you as I was leaving."
"oh, very much so. do you mean, now?" I half-expected him to be all "when I see you on tuesday, that is!" and be a tease, but I was hoping not. As I replied, I got a second message from him: "to meet you at the door, take you by the hair and push you into the apartment, my lips on yours, my hands around you..."
I gasped a little, really hoping that he wasn't going to make me wait. I got another message. Very brief, just "yes." Now.
"*squirms* I'm currently naked and in bed, will that be a problem?"
"it will not, as long as you let me in" I leaped out of bed, and my phone buzzed again. "on my way. hope you like being pinned against a wall"

So, he arrived, metal fingernails from his sensation play kit in hand (or on hand, rather :p). He grabbed my hair and kissed me and pushed me up against a wall, just as he'd promised, then used my very oldest trigger that I'd told him about. Stroking my temples downward puts me into a pretty light trance, but a trance nonetheless. He then tried to make me come on command, and it just did not work, because I am le suck at hallucinating things (that is, in fact, the scientific term). Especially in so light a trance. I brought myself out of the trance after he'd stopped and said "um, A for effort?"

"well, I can certainly make you feel things without hypnosis," he said, and I brought him to my bedroom. Conveniently, I already had zero clothes on (not even socks! :p), and we shortly got to fucking like rabbits.

Now, I'm pretty sure it's because of my submissiveness, but during sex, I, hm. It's not that I'm unresponsive (because I can get really loud), it's just that I prefer to lie back and take it, if you will, instead of being ridiculously active during it. Let's put it this way: I have never been able to be the partner on top because I can't properly enjoy myself if I have to be actively fucking my partner. (also I've never been willing to figure out the mechanics of being on top, probably because I don't particularly like those positions ;)

Pseudonymous Dom picked up on this. "I don't even have to tie you up," he said after we'd started, and I couldn't tell if it was domly musing or dirty talk. Or both. "I can just do this--" he thrusted again "--to you, and you can't even move, can you?"

I moaned.

"You can't control your arms, and the only thing you can do with your legs is wrap them around me... "
"I...ohhhh...."
"hmmm?"
"I... could.... move my arms... if I wanted to," I asserted, between moans. "I just don't want to."
"And you can't even quite focus your eyes, can you?"
"ohh, no..." and indeed I couldn't. I kept trying to look up at him, but I wasn't able to do so for more than a few seconds before my eyes would roll back.

And it went on like that for a bit longer, and it was hot, and although I did not go into subspace, it was still excellent. And now I have to go to my cashiering day job with two giant hickeys on my neck.

Having a play partner is a blast.