"the vanillas"

So, us kinky people are, you know, kinky. And people who aren't kinky we refer to as "mundanes" or "vanillas," or "vanilla people" into "vanilla sex," coming from vanilla's reputation as a plain, even boring, flavor (even though vanilla is one of the more complex flavors... go figure).

It's not hard to find examples of kinky folks talking derisively about vanilla sex. Coming from the feminist perspective that I do, I tend to not join in on that sort of thing, since vanilla sexual expression is as valid a type of sexual expression as any other, and being all "OUR SIDE IS BETTER" when both sides are equally fine leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Still, sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's part of kink pride, which isn't a bad thing!

I mean, being kinky is still a diagnosable condition, at least until 2013 when the DSM-V comes out and you can have paraphilias or enjoy sadism without having a disorder. Kink is still not mainstream. Vanilla sex is what is represented in movies; indeed, usually if there's anything that can be read as kinky it's done without explicit consent and is pretty creepy.

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this, other than apparently someone in one of my my circles of friends was grossed out by my blog and said a bunch of misconceptions about BDSM when I wasn't there, and she was especially put off my use of the phrase "vanilla people." Even though I think "vanilla" is a totally valid descriptor for non-kinky sex, and when combined with "people," it is a perfectly humanizing turn of phrase.

But also, she said "and the concept of a "sex blog" bugs me too. It looks like a way of saying, "I have so much mind-blowing sex and it's like totally awesome!""

Um yes, yes it is. I have a lot of mind-blowing sexual experiences and it's totally awesome! Say it with me, folks!

A thought on alcohol

before I forget! Also, disclaimer, I am somewhat drunk at the moment. drunkblogging: don't try this at home, kids!

Alcohol makes me dizzy, and makes it harder to form coherent thoughts. It also makes me really, really wet. After a certain point, I'm usually just like "oh god I am so horny and can't think about anything other than sex, somebody needs to come take advantage of me NOW"

I will come back and edit this post to say something more sensical about why I like this state. Although, for a sub, it's probably pretty self-evident ;)

Vacation

Nice things about being on vacation: no work, no shoulder ows, shopping, s'mores, nostalgia, ice cream, jokes that only my family will laugh at.

Not nice things about being on vacation: no sex! and no talking about sex, repressing a good half of my personality for my family, none of the sexy people I know in Sunderland.

Essentially, no blagoposts for a few days! See you all next week!

Not dead, not dead!

Hey all! Sorry I've been so quiet lately, the sex has been mostly vanilla lately. I know, I know, blasphemy, but it's been good! We'll be back after the new year, in all likelihood, with some new stories!

Things that are frustrating

1. Being put under, getting nice and comfy and totally blank, then hearing the words "I'm going to wake you up in a few minutes..."
2. Having that done to you five times in a row!
3. not being able to agree on a trigger word, and worrying that the trigger won't work because I am terrible with triggers
4. missing out on a bunch of hypno-munches.

NB: when your sex life suffers because you aren't being hypnotized enough, it's safe to say you have a fetish.

Coming Attractions

Rather sleepy at the moment, but I promise a witty and sexy post coming soon!