Why I don't do stage shows

Something about hypnosis stage shows has always squicked me, and I've never been able to put my finger on it. I've never wanted to participate in one, and I tend to dislike watching them.

Part of it, I've figured, is because your average stage show does nothing sexy except the initial induction. The tricks and games all tend to have an element of public humiliation to them, and that sort of thing is neither entertaining nor amusing to me. Just my personal preference; more power to people who do like it.

But the other part of it hit me the other day, the root of why I will not, under any circumstances, participate in a traditional hypnosis stage show: there's no negotiation beforehand. When you get up and volunteer to participate, you are absolutely trusting that the hypnotist won't do anything that's a hard limit for you, without having discussed your limits (and their abilities and comfort zones) beforehand.

I was doing some negotiation with a 'tist, once, and he said "you seem to be very keen to know exactly what's going to happen when I put you under." and I kind of shrugged, at the time, like "yeah, well, I'm weird, fucking tell me what's going to happen already." But later, replaying the negotiation in my head, I could have said "yeah, because I can't consent to things I don't know about!" Because I can't. (BDSM being what it is, other people are indubitably cool with it, I am not; at all or ever. No surprises, plox!)

So that's what I don't like about your average stage show: I, a participant, don't know what's going to happen, and can't properly consent to it, so it just doesn't happen for me.

It occurs to me, though, that now that I know that, it opens up some other doors. My opposition to stage shows isn't about other people watching; it's about consent. I could probably totally do a properly-negotiated demo-type thing. Hmm!

textures and sensations

I used to think I was a strictly visual person; things always made most sense to me if I could see a picture of them. When I started playing with 'tists this summer, then, I identified myself as a generally visual person.

However, it turns out that, at least as far as hypnosis goes, I'm a pretty kinesthetic person. Touch improves my trance, and indeed, I can go under with the right touch alone; and I'm much better at tactile hallucination than visual ones (so far, at least).

With that in mind, I was explaining to V the other night about my fascination with waffle-weave. You know, this stuff, but for shirts it's finer. I always think people wearing waffle-weave shirts (generally men, I don't see too many women wearing them) are really hot, solely on the basis of their clothing. I also have a thing for short, messy hair.

It hit me, as I was explaining it to her, why I find those things particularly attractive: because they have memorable and well-defined textures. And whenever I see someone with messy hair or in a waffle-weave shirt, my mind on some level goes straight to "we're making out and I'm running my hands ALL OVER that glorious texture."

Guess I'm pretty kinesthetic!