Why I don't do stage shows

Something about hypnosis stage shows has always squicked me, and I've never been able to put my finger on it. I've never wanted to participate in one, and I tend to dislike watching them.

Part of it, I've figured, is because your average stage show does nothing sexy except the initial induction. The tricks and games all tend to have an element of public humiliation to them, and that sort of thing is neither entertaining nor amusing to me. Just my personal preference; more power to people who do like it.

But the other part of it hit me the other day, the root of why I will not, under any circumstances, participate in a traditional hypnosis stage show: there's no negotiation beforehand. When you get up and volunteer to participate, you are absolutely trusting that the hypnotist won't do anything that's a hard limit for you, without having discussed your limits (and their abilities and comfort zones) beforehand.

I was doing some negotiation with a 'tist, once, and he said "you seem to be very keen to know exactly what's going to happen when I put you under." and I kind of shrugged, at the time, like "yeah, well, I'm weird, fucking tell me what's going to happen already." But later, replaying the negotiation in my head, I could have said "yeah, because I can't consent to things I don't know about!" Because I can't. (BDSM being what it is, other people are indubitably cool with it, I am not; at all or ever. No surprises, plox!)

So that's what I don't like about your average stage show: I, a participant, don't know what's going to happen, and can't properly consent to it, so it just doesn't happen for me.

It occurs to me, though, that now that I know that, it opens up some other doors. My opposition to stage shows isn't about other people watching; it's about consent. I could probably totally do a properly-negotiated demo-type thing. Hmm!

A Truly Awesome Analogy

He'd been telling me, when I was under, that I loved to be helpless, and helpless other things, helpless etc. Something about it was rubbing me the wrong way, so when he woke me up I explained it to him.

"I like helplessness... but only when it's with something else. I don't like being helpless in and of itself, but it's really hot when it's combined with obedience or being under your control." He nodded, I paused thoughtfully. "Kinda like ketchup. You wouldn't eat it with a spoon, but it tastes pretty great on burgers!"

What we did before the end of break!

Alright, break's over, nose back to the grindstone. Thanksgiving was last thursday; it was very nice, and I got to see Nauzy lots because I had no classes after tuesday. And he expressed much frustration at not getting to put me under enough. :D

I did try to get him to make a post, but he was all, "I don't know what to type!" So I told him, if he ever feels like it, to put up an induction script, because I rarely remember them and I know people want to see them.

In any case, yesterday we made a concerted effort to just do hypnosis, though not after some miscommunication. He put me under a ways, and then started moving me around to take my clothes off, and I sat up and said, "why?" (my subconscious has no trouble at all asserting itself when it needs to. I didn't even think about it before I woke up. :p) Because I thought he was just going to put me under, no bells and whistles. I hadn't said as much explicitly (which, as I am learning, is what "communication" means), so he hadn't realized. He was trying to surprise me, actually.

We worked it out and then had two really good trances out of a few attempts. And I discovered that I am not, in fact, that good of a judge of how deep I am when I'm hypnotized. Both times, if he'd asked me when I was under, I would have said I was very deep but not blank; but after he woke me up I would have said that I was indeed blank, especially compared to how awake I feel when I'm, well, awake. I barely remembered anything.

The best part, in my opinion, was that both times I went that deep inside of twenty minutes! I am almost certain it was the result of having consumed no caffeine that day, which is something I will be keeping in mind.

In short; a good weekend, progress is being made. Nauzy has a number of deepeners under his belt now, and I'm learning how to go under easily.