Friday, December 19, 2008
To Clarify:
Nauzy and I found a trick that helps me go really deep really fast: backrubs. We were hanging around the other day, not really having the intention to put me under (but he likes to spring trances on me these days, even if they're little ones :D)... and some way or another I got him to give me a backrub. I started visibly relaxing almost immediately: my shoulders drooped, and I felt all warm and mmmmm-y. When he started the induction (I try to make note of these things but can never remember them ;) I went deep to the almost-blanking-out point within ten minutes. Pretty spectacular; I know we'll be doing this more in the future. Which is great, because I love backrubs.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Natural Disasters!
This is the post where I apologize for disappearing off the face of the blagosphere and announce that I'll be gone for a bit longer. I promised myself I'd never make one of these, but there you are. An immense ice storm hit my area friday, and it looks like I'm without internet and power for another week or so. But Arel, you say, you are posting now! Yes, but from my school, and I don't live on campus. And the other natural disaster has hit me is finals week. I'm up to my ears in work. :(
In any event, finals will be over in less than a week, though I may not have internet at my house for a lot longer than that. I'll make a post as soon as I can.
In any event, finals will be over in less than a week, though I may not have internet at my house for a lot longer than that. I'll make a post as soon as I can.
Monday, December 1, 2008
What we did before the end of break!
Alright, break's over, nose back to the grindstone. Thanksgiving was last thursday; it was very nice, and I got to see Nauzy lots because I had no classes after tuesday. And he expressed much frustration at not getting to put me under enough. :D
I did try to get him to make a post, but he was all, "I don't know what to type!" So I told him, if he ever feels like it, to put up an induction script, because I rarely remember them and I know people want to see them.
In any case, yesterday we made a concerted effort to just do hypnosis, though not after some miscommunication. He put me under a ways, and then started moving me around to take my clothes off, and I sat up and said, "why?" (my subconscious has no trouble at all asserting itself when it needs to. I didn't even think about it before I woke up. :p) Because I thought he was just going to put me under, no bells and whistles. I hadn't said as much explicitly (which, as I am learning, is what "communication" means), so he hadn't realized. He was trying to surprise me, actually.
We worked it out and then had two really good trances out of a few attempts. And I discovered that I am not, in fact, that good of a judge of how deep I am when I'm hypnotized. Both times, if he'd asked me when I was under, I would have said I was very deep but not blank; but after he woke me up I would have said that I was indeed blank, especially compared to how awake I feel when I'm, well, awake. I barely remembered anything.
The best part, in my opinion, was that both times I went that deep inside of twenty minutes! I am almost certain it was the result of having consumed no caffeine that day, which is something I will be keeping in mind.
In short; a good weekend, progress is being made. Nauzy has a number of deepeners under his belt now, and I'm learning how to go under easily.
I did try to get him to make a post, but he was all, "I don't know what to type!" So I told him, if he ever feels like it, to put up an induction script, because I rarely remember them and I know people want to see them.
In any case, yesterday we made a concerted effort to just do hypnosis, though not after some miscommunication. He put me under a ways, and then started moving me around to take my clothes off, and I sat up and said, "why?" (my subconscious has no trouble at all asserting itself when it needs to. I didn't even think about it before I woke up. :p) Because I thought he was just going to put me under, no bells and whistles. I hadn't said as much explicitly (which, as I am learning, is what "communication" means), so he hadn't realized. He was trying to surprise me, actually.
We worked it out and then had two really good trances out of a few attempts. And I discovered that I am not, in fact, that good of a judge of how deep I am when I'm hypnotized. Both times, if he'd asked me when I was under, I would have said I was very deep but not blank; but after he woke me up I would have said that I was indeed blank, especially compared to how awake I feel when I'm, well, awake. I barely remembered anything.
The best part, in my opinion, was that both times I went that deep inside of twenty minutes! I am almost certain it was the result of having consumed no caffeine that day, which is something I will be keeping in mind.
In short; a good weekend, progress is being made. Nauzy has a number of deepeners under his belt now, and I'm learning how to go under easily.
Monday, November 17, 2008
First Security Check
So, remember once upon a time Nauzy gave me a few security suggestions, because I was having trust issues? Well, we found that they work remarkably well.
I told him last week that it would be hot if he put me under and I woke up being fucked, not remembering anything in between. Kind of like what Claire wanted in chapter three of Busman's Holiday (terrible that I know that :p). Apparently the idea appealed to him too, because that's what he set out to do when I let him have his way with me this weekend.
He used a trigger he put in a while back where he kind of shouts "sleep!" and I go under. I prefer one where he doesn't shout, but as long as I go deep it doesn't really matter in the end. :p He rambled a while, and I went further down, then he used a staircase deepener. I really like his staircase deepeners; I'm usually terrible about visualization, but they work well for me. Probably because I'm sleep-deprived and can relate oh-so thoroughly to the idea of wanting to just tumble into a big bed with soft, fluffy pillows...
Eventually I was pretty much out (navy blue, but definitely not blank), so he started to take my clothes off. Now, the room was cold, and even though I was in his bed under some blankets, my naked self started to get cold, and colder still when he moved the blankets to hop in with me. But I was deep, so I'd go along with what he wanted, then think, "but I'm cooold, and what is he doing; I should wake up and say something..." and then I'd be like, "but I'm sooo comfortable right now, I don't wanna wake up..." and I'd kick my skirt off my ankles or whatever.
Here I will note that being hypnotized seemed to override my reflex to shiver; I just didn't.
Eventually we were both naked, and he moved to see how wet I was. He dipped a finger in me, and I heard, "oh, you are a bit wet..." Now you guys all know that sex just does not feel good if the woman's not wet (unless she's a masochist, and let me tell you, I am the anti-masochist :p). I didn't question the fact that I'd been under for a while, and hypnosis rarely fails to make me eight kinds of dripping... but I was hypnotized. So my poor literal subconscious was all, "okay, I'm not that wet; he'll talk to me some more or something." But I felt Nauzy move to enter me, and my eyes flew open and I said, terrified, "but I'm not wet!"
And then it was kind of awkward, because I was completely awake (and I mean completely awake) and Nauzy felt terrible, and I felt violated on some level. Which bothered me, because nothing bad had happened and I shouldn't've wanted to curl up fully clothed somewhere else. But the evening ended on a sour note, unfortunately.
Nevertheless, I try to keep a glass-half-full frame of mind, and the plus side is that I didn't hesitate to wake up when I felt I was in danger (yes, any kind of pain is danger to me. :p). So my security works well, and that's good.
I told him last week that it would be hot if he put me under and I woke up being fucked, not remembering anything in between. Kind of like what Claire wanted in chapter three of Busman's Holiday (terrible that I know that :p). Apparently the idea appealed to him too, because that's what he set out to do when I let him have his way with me this weekend.
He used a trigger he put in a while back where he kind of shouts "sleep!" and I go under. I prefer one where he doesn't shout, but as long as I go deep it doesn't really matter in the end. :p He rambled a while, and I went further down, then he used a staircase deepener. I really like his staircase deepeners; I'm usually terrible about visualization, but they work well for me. Probably because I'm sleep-deprived and can relate oh-so thoroughly to the idea of wanting to just tumble into a big bed with soft, fluffy pillows...
Eventually I was pretty much out (navy blue, but definitely not blank), so he started to take my clothes off. Now, the room was cold, and even though I was in his bed under some blankets, my naked self started to get cold, and colder still when he moved the blankets to hop in with me. But I was deep, so I'd go along with what he wanted, then think, "but I'm cooold, and what is he doing; I should wake up and say something..." and then I'd be like, "but I'm sooo comfortable right now, I don't wanna wake up..." and I'd kick my skirt off my ankles or whatever.
Here I will note that being hypnotized seemed to override my reflex to shiver; I just didn't.
Eventually we were both naked, and he moved to see how wet I was. He dipped a finger in me, and I heard, "oh, you are a bit wet..." Now you guys all know that sex just does not feel good if the woman's not wet (unless she's a masochist, and let me tell you, I am the anti-masochist :p). I didn't question the fact that I'd been under for a while, and hypnosis rarely fails to make me eight kinds of dripping... but I was hypnotized. So my poor literal subconscious was all, "okay, I'm not that wet; he'll talk to me some more or something." But I felt Nauzy move to enter me, and my eyes flew open and I said, terrified, "but I'm not wet!"
And then it was kind of awkward, because I was completely awake (and I mean completely awake) and Nauzy felt terrible, and I felt violated on some level. Which bothered me, because nothing bad had happened and I shouldn't've wanted to curl up fully clothed somewhere else. But the evening ended on a sour note, unfortunately.
Nevertheless, I try to keep a glass-half-full frame of mind, and the plus side is that I didn't hesitate to wake up when I felt I was in danger (yes, any kind of pain is danger to me. :p). So my security works well, and that's good.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Something to Blog About
Okay, I'm going to disappoint most of you, because this post is more about D/s than hypnosis. But it's relevant and recent and involving masturbation, so there. :p
We'd planned on having a good long session last night on voicechat, but Nauzy was falling asleep in his chair and had to wake me up, poor thing. Somehow he managed to pull the following off:
I was commenting about how sexy his voice sounded. His regular voice, hell, I said, even the sound of him typing sounded hot. "I think it's because I haven't masturbated in a week or so," I said. That's when he proceeded to hypnotize me briefly but wonderfully and wake me up. I should say that I've gotten really really good at getting into nice solid, passive trances lately; I don't stir if he pauses and I don't think much at all after he says the first few words. Though I don't go consistently much deeper than medium deep-blue, it's still pretty awesome. Progress, check!
So I told him it was okay that his sleep schedule was normalizing (he used to stay up until two in the morning, much to my chagrin), and we continued talking normally. We're like that. "Oh, time to go to sleep/ drive home/ get milk!" And then he pounces on me and I spend twenty minutes disentangling both of us. :p
Conversation drifted, and he asked me if I was in bed. "Obviously," I replied, vocally rolling my eyes. I always get in bed for hypnosis on voicechat.
"Well, I was just checking if you were all ready, because sometimes you aren't," he said, sounding kind of meek.
"You can yell at me, " I said. "I shouldn't've spoken back like that."
"Yeees... you should just respond blindly to my questions." He sounded terribly devious. I squirmed.
"Somehow, the idea of answering your questions blankly and without thinking is really, really hot," I said, squirming more. "I'm squirming really hard right now."
"I think you are going to start masturbating. Right now, get your hand down there!"
"oh, okay!" I kind of gasped. I'd never heard so much authority in his voice before.
"how wet are you?" Oops. I was touching myself, but through my sweatpants, so I had to scramble to check.
"WELL?" he demanded. I felt a tinge of fear, the good kind of fear. That was the kind of "well" that could hurt you. And I loved it.
"I, ah, not very."
"Well you're just going to have to masturbate anyways."
There was no room for debate there. And I wanted to anyways, so I did. And wow. I forget what he said after that, but it pushed my buttons like nothing else. I gasped again and came pretty hard.
"Good girl..." he cooed. Now, he's said good girl before, but man, last night I really felt it. I felt completely submissive and more dominated than I've ever been by Nauzy. Incredible and wonderful and oh-so right.
And then he commanded me to go to bed, and I slept very deeply, dreaming of hypno-superheroes and lesbians.
Later!
We'd planned on having a good long session last night on voicechat, but Nauzy was falling asleep in his chair and had to wake me up, poor thing. Somehow he managed to pull the following off:
I was commenting about how sexy his voice sounded. His regular voice, hell, I said, even the sound of him typing sounded hot. "I think it's because I haven't masturbated in a week or so," I said. That's when he proceeded to hypnotize me briefly but wonderfully and wake me up. I should say that I've gotten really really good at getting into nice solid, passive trances lately; I don't stir if he pauses and I don't think much at all after he says the first few words. Though I don't go consistently much deeper than medium deep-blue, it's still pretty awesome. Progress, check!
So I told him it was okay that his sleep schedule was normalizing (he used to stay up until two in the morning, much to my chagrin), and we continued talking normally. We're like that. "Oh, time to go to sleep/ drive home/ get milk!" And then he pounces on me and I spend twenty minutes disentangling both of us. :p
Conversation drifted, and he asked me if I was in bed. "Obviously," I replied, vocally rolling my eyes. I always get in bed for hypnosis on voicechat.
"Well, I was just checking if you were all ready, because sometimes you aren't," he said, sounding kind of meek.
"You can yell at me, " I said. "I shouldn't've spoken back like that."
"Yeees... you should just respond blindly to my questions." He sounded terribly devious. I squirmed.
"Somehow, the idea of answering your questions blankly and without thinking is really, really hot," I said, squirming more. "I'm squirming really hard right now."
"I think you are going to start masturbating. Right now, get your hand down there!"
"oh, okay!" I kind of gasped. I'd never heard so much authority in his voice before.
"how wet are you?" Oops. I was touching myself, but through my sweatpants, so I had to scramble to check.
"WELL?" he demanded. I felt a tinge of fear, the good kind of fear. That was the kind of "well" that could hurt you. And I loved it.
"I, ah, not very."
"Well you're just going to have to masturbate anyways."
There was no room for debate there. And I wanted to anyways, so I did. And wow. I forget what he said after that, but it pushed my buttons like nothing else. I gasped again and came pretty hard.
"Good girl..." he cooed. Now, he's said good girl before, but man, last night I really felt it. I felt completely submissive and more dominated than I've ever been by Nauzy. Incredible and wonderful and oh-so right.
And then he commanded me to go to bed, and I slept very deeply, dreaming of hypno-superheroes and lesbians.
Later!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Blogger's Block
Yes. It sucks; I've been wrestling with two drafts and just scrapped them both. Sigh. So, lesse, what've we been doing lately? Really, not as much as you'd think. Due to circumstances involving a zeppelin and a half-dozen suitcases of two-dollar bills, Nauzy is going to be home until at least January. Let the crystal-swinging commence, right? Not really; it's hard to find privacy and quiet enough to do hypnosis... at least without resorting to hiding in parking lots. Which actually sounds like a good idea, I think.
He hypnotizes me every time we see each other, but it's not always for long periods of time. Sometimes the dogs start barking, and (while I don't wake up) his concentration is shot. Sometimes it's in the car really quickly, or he'll pull me into a corner and start whispering relaxing words into my ear at like, the mall. Sometimes he just turns on his Voice for two words, and then snaps his fingers at me to wake up, because I've started to go under. And, okay, sometimes we're just too busy having sex to bother with serious hypnosis. (whereby "serious hypnosis" I mean when we try to get me blank, or put in a new trigger or suggestion, the kind that, for me, takes at least an hour.)
I'm whining. :p He's really enthusiastic about it these days, and it's wonderful. Little snippets of hypnosis are delightful and really push my submissive buttons. The trickiest bit now is, like I said, making time, and trying to define what exactly I like about hypnosis. I'm trying to come up with a set of rules so we can come up with some nice scenes.
Which was the subject of both those posts I scrapped. So we're back where we started. :p
But while I'm at it: What kinds of things do you, my readers, like to see? I'm rambling eloquently but blindly. I'm happy to cater to specific facets of the community (I know there are a bunch of people who really like to hear what trance is like from the subject's POV, any of you reading here?)... I mean, I am a submissive. :p And I'm just as happy to give graphic descriptions of sex, but I don't want to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities or give out Too Much Information, and you're all here for the hypnosis, after all.
So, all you anonymous readers who never comment, I know you're out there! More sex? More hypnosis? More ramblages? Induction scripts? More self-analysis? Naked pix? Do tell. Just don't ask for Nauzy to post, that's asking a bit too much. :p
He hypnotizes me every time we see each other, but it's not always for long periods of time. Sometimes the dogs start barking, and (while I don't wake up) his concentration is shot. Sometimes it's in the car really quickly, or he'll pull me into a corner and start whispering relaxing words into my ear at like, the mall. Sometimes he just turns on his Voice for two words, and then snaps his fingers at me to wake up, because I've started to go under. And, okay, sometimes we're just too busy having sex to bother with serious hypnosis. (whereby "serious hypnosis" I mean when we try to get me blank, or put in a new trigger or suggestion, the kind that, for me, takes at least an hour.)
I'm whining. :p He's really enthusiastic about it these days, and it's wonderful. Little snippets of hypnosis are delightful and really push my submissive buttons. The trickiest bit now is, like I said, making time, and trying to define what exactly I like about hypnosis. I'm trying to come up with a set of rules so we can come up with some nice scenes.
Which was the subject of both those posts I scrapped. So we're back where we started. :p
But while I'm at it: What kinds of things do you, my readers, like to see? I'm rambling eloquently but blindly. I'm happy to cater to specific facets of the community (I know there are a bunch of people who really like to hear what trance is like from the subject's POV, any of you reading here?)... I mean, I am a submissive. :p And I'm just as happy to give graphic descriptions of sex, but I don't want to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities or give out Too Much Information, and you're all here for the hypnosis, after all.
So, all you anonymous readers who never comment, I know you're out there! More sex? More hypnosis? More ramblages? Induction scripts? More self-analysis? Naked pix? Do tell. Just don't ask for Nauzy to post, that's asking a bit too much. :p
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Bit of a rant, fishing for advice
I am terrible at hallucinations, and this really annoys me. The other day we were trying to get me to imagine I'm being fingered when he says a certain word (for very wicked play at whole foods, I'm sure ;). He put me under, gave me the suggestion, actually fingered me for reference, repeated the suggestion a few times, and woke me up.
Then we tested it, and... while I reacted strongly, I didn't feel anything. Really wierd, hard to describe. To a viewer, it sure looks like I feel like I'm being fingered, but I didn't feel like I was at all, though the urge to squirm around was somewhat uncontrollable. :p
Anyhow, just venting a bit. I'm sure it's a matter of practice or something.
Then we tested it, and... while I reacted strongly, I didn't feel anything. Really wierd, hard to describe. To a viewer, it sure looks like I feel like I'm being fingered, but I didn't feel like I was at all, though the urge to squirm around was somewhat uncontrollable. :p
Anyhow, just venting a bit. I'm sure it's a matter of practice or something.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Time for a new post
(sorry that I've been so long between posts. I am finding that college is, in fact, more work that high school.)
So I'll admit, I'm an emotional person. I get frustrated rather easily, especially when it comes to trance. Some nights I'm just not in the right headspace, or my trigger hits me at the wrong angle, and when I come up I'll be angry and start ranting. Nauzy, who hates to see me in anything but orgasmic distress, likes to whisper "shhh, relaaax..." and I completely melt... I go under a bit, sometimes more effectively than when he uses my trigger when I'm ready for it.
I think it's a matter of how relatively relaxed I am. When I'm lying down, waiting for the order to go under, I'm pretty comfy and on the edge of trance anyways. When I'm agitated, it's entirely the opposite, so when I do go under, it feels deeper and easier.
I'm really not trying to psychoanalyze myself; it just feels good. :)
On to more things he can do in public, oh yes. You know, it's funny, I have never ever been an exhibitionist. I don't even like excessive PDA. But trance in public? Why yes, sign me right up.
Last night we were at Whole Foods, grabbing dinner together. We'd finished eating and were just talking, and inevitably it turned to how I love it when he does stuff that nobody else can see. And he switched on his Voice and down I went, sitting up, leaning on my hand. Beautiful. Restful too, though this time it was green-grey instead of blue. But deep enough to just drift.
What I love about playing in public is the... raciness of it. Nauzy said it himself one time: "I like doing things in public; I feel like I've gotten away with something." And so it is. Nobody notices, nobody cares, but we've done it. And it makes me squirm so.
It also helps that hypnosis is often more subtle than good old-fashioned exhibitionistic sex in public. ;p
So I'll admit, I'm an emotional person. I get frustrated rather easily, especially when it comes to trance. Some nights I'm just not in the right headspace, or my trigger hits me at the wrong angle, and when I come up I'll be angry and start ranting. Nauzy, who hates to see me in anything but orgasmic distress, likes to whisper "shhh, relaaax..." and I completely melt... I go under a bit, sometimes more effectively than when he uses my trigger when I'm ready for it.
I think it's a matter of how relatively relaxed I am. When I'm lying down, waiting for the order to go under, I'm pretty comfy and on the edge of trance anyways. When I'm agitated, it's entirely the opposite, so when I do go under, it feels deeper and easier.
I'm really not trying to psychoanalyze myself; it just feels good. :)
On to more things he can do in public, oh yes. You know, it's funny, I have never ever been an exhibitionist. I don't even like excessive PDA. But trance in public? Why yes, sign me right up.
Last night we were at Whole Foods, grabbing dinner together. We'd finished eating and were just talking, and inevitably it turned to how I love it when he does stuff that nobody else can see. And he switched on his Voice and down I went, sitting up, leaning on my hand. Beautiful. Restful too, though this time it was green-grey instead of blue. But deep enough to just drift.
What I love about playing in public is the... raciness of it. Nauzy said it himself one time: "I like doing things in public; I feel like I've gotten away with something." And so it is. Nobody notices, nobody cares, but we've done it. And it makes me squirm so.
It also helps that hypnosis is often more subtle than good old-fashioned exhibitionistic sex in public. ;p
Monday, October 20, 2008
A Treatise on Lace
There are a few stereotypes about red-blooded young males that most girls pick up by the time they've graduated from high school:
1. They only ever want one thing.
2. They think that two girls kissing is extremely hot.
3. Black, lacy underwear is really sexy.
Now, I call them stereotypes for a reason; not all guys are of that mindset... but Nauzy, for the most part, is. :p And for us, as a couple, that's not a problem generally: our sex drives match up pretty well, I'm somewhat bisexual, and I like wearing black... but the lace, not so much.
I have never, ever been a fan of lacy anything. Lace is frilly and girly in a way that I am not, and lace on bras or panties makes me think of awkward things. This is not helped by the fact that underthings never have just a little lace; they've always got to be plastered with it.
Therefore, I suggested that he, er, suggest to me that I'll enjoy wearing lace more. He agreed, we came up with a rough draft suggestion, aiming to get me to think about his hands roaming all over me when I think of lace. (and can I just take a moment to say that really blunt, direct communication like this works wonders. Talking about suggestions beforehand lets me enjoy the ride more and I feel more confident in what he's doing. good stuff.)
So the trance. He started taking me down, using my trigger, which works beeeautifully these days. It had been a long day for me, and I think that's why I started blanking out right about when he started giving the suggestion. I stopped listening to the words and tuned in to the sound of his voice, and the navy blue of very deep trance started to get flecked with black; oh so warm and comfortable... and next thing I knew I was waking up.
Oh yeah, it was one of those. I didn't remember anything. Maybe a bit about telling him how deep I was, but after that, nada. And oh, what a thrill! I love the idea of knowing that the 'tist has done something to my mind that I don't know. I'm so clearly not in control and I don't know what's coming next, and, of course, I'm completely helpless to stop it. Mmm.
It wasn't my/our intent for this to happen with something, well, so mundane, but I don't think either of us is complaining. If anything, Nauzy's getting a bigger kick out of it than I am... He mentioned last night something about me having "two more days."
"Two more days for what?" I asked, thinking, Columbus day vacation was last week...
"You don't remember?"
I squirmed. "No! What'd you do to me?!"
"You really don't remember... oh, nothing." I could hear him smirk.
Oh, my. What have I created... ;)
1. They only ever want one thing.
2. They think that two girls kissing is extremely hot.
3. Black, lacy underwear is really sexy.
Now, I call them stereotypes for a reason; not all guys are of that mindset... but Nauzy, for the most part, is. :p And for us, as a couple, that's not a problem generally: our sex drives match up pretty well, I'm somewhat bisexual, and I like wearing black... but the lace, not so much.
I have never, ever been a fan of lacy anything. Lace is frilly and girly in a way that I am not, and lace on bras or panties makes me think of awkward things. This is not helped by the fact that underthings never have just a little lace; they've always got to be plastered with it.
Therefore, I suggested that he, er, suggest to me that I'll enjoy wearing lace more. He agreed, we came up with a rough draft suggestion, aiming to get me to think about his hands roaming all over me when I think of lace. (and can I just take a moment to say that really blunt, direct communication like this works wonders. Talking about suggestions beforehand lets me enjoy the ride more and I feel more confident in what he's doing. good stuff.)
So the trance. He started taking me down, using my trigger, which works beeeautifully these days. It had been a long day for me, and I think that's why I started blanking out right about when he started giving the suggestion. I stopped listening to the words and tuned in to the sound of his voice, and the navy blue of very deep trance started to get flecked with black; oh so warm and comfortable... and next thing I knew I was waking up.
Oh yeah, it was one of those. I didn't remember anything. Maybe a bit about telling him how deep I was, but after that, nada. And oh, what a thrill! I love the idea of knowing that the 'tist has done something to my mind that I don't know. I'm so clearly not in control and I don't know what's coming next, and, of course, I'm completely helpless to stop it. Mmm.
It wasn't my/our intent for this to happen with something, well, so mundane, but I don't think either of us is complaining. If anything, Nauzy's getting a bigger kick out of it than I am... He mentioned last night something about me having "two more days."
"Two more days for what?" I asked, thinking, Columbus day vacation was last week...
"You don't remember?"
I squirmed. "No! What'd you do to me?!"
"You really don't remember... oh, nothing." I could hear him smirk.
Oh, my. What have I created... ;)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
First Experiences With Amnesia Play
While I'm wary of freezing triggers, I am an enormous fan of amnesia-play. I'd love to, say, wake up and be tied up and have no idea how I got there. Or have Nauzy say some word and I start reacting somehow, and I know he must've put a trigger in but don't remember it...
But I digress. :p
One quick thing I should clue you in about: Nauzy and I go to different colleges, so during the school year we only see each other about once a month. All of the hypnosis I've blogged about so far has been over skype or, more rarely, over IRC.
But this past weekend was all in person, so we got to have some fun.
We were hanging out in bed, making nerdy pillow-talk, when he triggered me to go into trance. And down I went, into my fuzzy-grey place, deep enough to take suggestions pretty well (though who am I kidding, I take suggestions even when I'm lucid!). This time, the suggestion was that as soon as I woke up, I'd feel an irresistible urge to wrap my arms and legs around him, and I wouldn't stop till he said "pizza"...and that I wouldn't remember that he'd suggested it, I'd just find myself falling all over him.
I'd give you some nice juicy hypnotic dialogue, except that I don't remember it. ;)
So then he woke me up, and I immediately draped my leg over his waist. I think the best way to describe my mental state is that I had a case of doublethink. I remembered quite clearly what he'd suggested, and yet I knew that I wasn't supposed to think about it, so I remembered... but just didn't think about it.
It was a very strange state, and I was sorry to tell him that I knew pretty much what was going on (with my arms around his neck, of course). :p But it was a very fun first attempt, and I expect it'll get better with time.
Also, one more thing: Last night he was installing a safety update, so to speak; putting in a few suggestions and reminders that, no matter how deep I am, I will reject any suggestion that goes past my limits. That's important and good and makes me feel quite safe, but the exciting bit is that I think I've finally figured out how to rank how deep I am properly! I used qualitative ranking instead of a quantitative one, and man, did it work!
There's "really light trance", and "light golden-brown trance", then some deep blue ones... "deep", "deep enough to take suggestions" and "really deep, fire away." then I suppose there's a gap until you get to that wonderful-but-elusive state where I blank out completely.
I'm quite psyched that I've good a good system. Though I think I'll have to find better names if I'm going to be telling them to Nauzy when I'm out!
But I digress. :p
One quick thing I should clue you in about: Nauzy and I go to different colleges, so during the school year we only see each other about once a month. All of the hypnosis I've blogged about so far has been over skype or, more rarely, over IRC.
But this past weekend was all in person, so we got to have some fun.
We were hanging out in bed, making nerdy pillow-talk, when he triggered me to go into trance. And down I went, into my fuzzy-grey place, deep enough to take suggestions pretty well (though who am I kidding, I take suggestions even when I'm lucid!). This time, the suggestion was that as soon as I woke up, I'd feel an irresistible urge to wrap my arms and legs around him, and I wouldn't stop till he said "pizza"...and that I wouldn't remember that he'd suggested it, I'd just find myself falling all over him.
I'd give you some nice juicy hypnotic dialogue, except that I don't remember it. ;)
So then he woke me up, and I immediately draped my leg over his waist. I think the best way to describe my mental state is that I had a case of doublethink. I remembered quite clearly what he'd suggested, and yet I knew that I wasn't supposed to think about it, so I remembered... but just didn't think about it.
It was a very strange state, and I was sorry to tell him that I knew pretty much what was going on (with my arms around his neck, of course). :p But it was a very fun first attempt, and I expect it'll get better with time.
Also, one more thing: Last night he was installing a safety update, so to speak; putting in a few suggestions and reminders that, no matter how deep I am, I will reject any suggestion that goes past my limits. That's important and good and makes me feel quite safe, but the exciting bit is that I think I've finally figured out how to rank how deep I am properly! I used qualitative ranking instead of a quantitative one, and man, did it work!
There's "really light trance", and "light golden-brown trance", then some deep blue ones... "deep", "deep enough to take suggestions" and "really deep, fire away." then I suppose there's a gap until you get to that wonderful-but-elusive state where I blank out completely.
I'm quite psyched that I've good a good system. Though I think I'll have to find better names if I'm going to be telling them to Nauzy when I'm out!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Hmm
After watching this video, I feel a bit less apprehensive about having my whole self frozen. I like how the hypnotist in the video there doesn't try to humiliate her and lets her go almost right away ("oh hey, you're stuck; but look, when I touch your hands, you find that they're unstuck!"). And I mean, I love being tied up, so if we take baby steps I think I'll find myself getting more comfortable with a whole-body freeze.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Ups and Downs
Wednesday or Thursday night we had a really good session. :D Nauzy repeated my reinduction trigger over and over, and I went into a wonderful space each time. I typically associate really deep trance with no movement, hardly any speaking, and an inability to feel one's body; accordingly, I don't consider myself deep/ don't go as deep if I have to move or talk a lot, and I really don't consider myself deep if I can feel where I am in space. When he used my trigger, I went deep. Didn't think, didn't move; I was there, everything was his voice and this grey-white-sparkly-fuzzy space. Very floaty and nice, kind of hard to do justice to. But when I'm there, I know it... even though I am not thinking about it. ;)
And last night was an off night. He tried the triggers, they worked, but not so well. I was in a trance, but not a good one and not a deep one. I wasn't getting into the right headspace; I was tangentially thinking, there was a lot of background noise. Just not a good night for it, so we called it quits instead of pushing. It did serve to remind me that even though we're getting a hell of a lot better with hypnosis, it's not gonna be perfect all the time. Just like with vanilla sex, or anything really: good or bad, there'll be days when it's just One Of Those days. And that's okay.
In less solemn news: Nauzy has indeed expressed interest in a freeze trigger for me. This is pretty exciting in that it's something he wants to do (as opposed to me telling him what I want), and in that I know he'll be deriving enjoyment from teasing me while I'm frozen.
My reactions to actually having a freeze trigger are actually mixed; I've never, ever been interested in them before, and they kind of scare me. I think part of it is fear of humiliation (freeze triggers remind me of hypnosis shows, which I don't like, as well as little tricks like making the subject forget a number or have her hands stuck together, which I hate and will not ever do.) Part of it's also the fear of not having a way out, or being frozen for long stretches at a time.
On that note, I should probably tell Nauzy these things. *runs off to do so*
And last night was an off night. He tried the triggers, they worked, but not so well. I was in a trance, but not a good one and not a deep one. I wasn't getting into the right headspace; I was tangentially thinking, there was a lot of background noise. Just not a good night for it, so we called it quits instead of pushing. It did serve to remind me that even though we're getting a hell of a lot better with hypnosis, it's not gonna be perfect all the time. Just like with vanilla sex, or anything really: good or bad, there'll be days when it's just One Of Those days. And that's okay.
In less solemn news: Nauzy has indeed expressed interest in a freeze trigger for me. This is pretty exciting in that it's something he wants to do (as opposed to me telling him what I want), and in that I know he'll be deriving enjoyment from teasing me while I'm frozen.
My reactions to actually having a freeze trigger are actually mixed; I've never, ever been interested in them before, and they kind of scare me. I think part of it is fear of humiliation (freeze triggers remind me of hypnosis shows, which I don't like, as well as little tricks like making the subject forget a number or have her hands stuck together, which I hate and will not ever do.) Part of it's also the fear of not having a way out, or being frozen for long stretches at a time.
On that note, I should probably tell Nauzy these things. *runs off to do so*
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
More about triggers
Okay, fellow hypnobloggers: what kind of terminology do you use when you're talking about giving someone a trigger? I guess it's a bit like the debate I read on one of the forums about what to call a subject (subject, victim, hypnotee, partner in crime...). One term sounds too clinical, one too sinister, one too silly.
I suppose "give someone a trigger" works just fine, but it's wordy. I prefer "install" myself, but I think that comes across in an either non-consensual way or a fembot way. *shrug* I mean it in a programming-analogy way, because I think programming's rather sexy. And I like to make analogies out of everything, so there you go. That's the word I'll be using, anyways; feel free to sound off with your own words.
On that note, I have to confess that I lied in my last post. We did test my triggers last night, at my behest. You know, it's frustrating, sometimes, to get Nauzy to understand how badly I want to be hypnotized. I am to hypnosis as he is to sex, I guess, or even more so: I'm not comfortable with huge public displays of affection, but I'd be pretty thrilled to go under in public (and he's the opposite in both respects, of course. :p). I can honestly say that in nine cases out of ten, I'd rather be hypnotized than have an orgasm (at least when I've got my own personal hypnotist on the line ;).
So anyways, I asked if we could test the triggers, and he quite happily, I think, obliged. He tested the make-me-masturbate one first, though, when I was expecting the reinduction trigger. Figures. :p
The make-me-masturbate trigger (hereafter referred to as the "release trigger," as that's one of the words used) worked a lot better than I expected. I know that it was, at least in part, due to me already being worked up over his voice, but it worked and set a, uh, very hot precedent. Best orgasm I've had in days.
I had to remind him that I had one more trigger ("and the other one?" "uh..what other one?" "the reinduction trigger?" "oh yeah. Sleep."), and I was honestly kind of disappointed; I barely went under. However, I think I know the problem: usually when Nauzy hypnotizes me, I'm sitting up, and my head drops as I relax. Last night, I was lying down in my bed, and there wasn't too much head-dropping I could do. It's kind of annoying that head-dropping has become a factor in my going under, but there's not much we can do but practice and try to eliminate it. And even if it never works it's okay, since I go so deep so quickly when he's doing a full-out induction. Which I prefer anyways, it's such fun to struggle. :p
Finally, I think the best part of the night was after he'd woken me up, he said, "I would like you to find a few hours with lots of privacy, so we can just play with your triggers."
Yes!
I suppose "give someone a trigger" works just fine, but it's wordy. I prefer "install" myself, but I think that comes across in an either non-consensual way or a fembot way. *shrug* I mean it in a programming-analogy way, because I think programming's rather sexy. And I like to make analogies out of everything, so there you go. That's the word I'll be using, anyways; feel free to sound off with your own words.
On that note, I have to confess that I lied in my last post. We did test my triggers last night, at my behest. You know, it's frustrating, sometimes, to get Nauzy to understand how badly I want to be hypnotized. I am to hypnosis as he is to sex, I guess, or even more so: I'm not comfortable with huge public displays of affection, but I'd be pretty thrilled to go under in public (and he's the opposite in both respects, of course. :p). I can honestly say that in nine cases out of ten, I'd rather be hypnotized than have an orgasm (at least when I've got my own personal hypnotist on the line ;).
So anyways, I asked if we could test the triggers, and he quite happily, I think, obliged. He tested the make-me-masturbate one first, though, when I was expecting the reinduction trigger. Figures. :p
The make-me-masturbate trigger (hereafter referred to as the "release trigger," as that's one of the words used) worked a lot better than I expected. I know that it was, at least in part, due to me already being worked up over his voice, but it worked and set a, uh, very hot precedent. Best orgasm I've had in days.
I had to remind him that I had one more trigger ("and the other one?" "uh..what other one?" "the reinduction trigger?" "oh yeah. Sleep."), and I was honestly kind of disappointed; I barely went under. However, I think I know the problem: usually when Nauzy hypnotizes me, I'm sitting up, and my head drops as I relax. Last night, I was lying down in my bed, and there wasn't too much head-dropping I could do. It's kind of annoying that head-dropping has become a factor in my going under, but there's not much we can do but practice and try to eliminate it. And even if it never works it's okay, since I go so deep so quickly when he's doing a full-out induction. Which I prefer anyways, it's such fun to struggle. :p
Finally, I think the best part of the night was after he'd woken me up, he said, "I would like you to find a few hours with lots of privacy, so we can just play with your triggers."
Yes!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Reliable Trance: Check.
Nauzy and I had been using a scale of one through ten to gauge how deep I've been going, with one as the deepest. This was probably not the best idea for two reasons: one because I am not a number person at all, and two because it was such a small scale. But it worked for us, at least until I broke it. :p
Once over the summer, and just last night, he asked me how deep I was. And I was so drifty and pliant that all I could come up with was "deep." So he went in and revisited two triggers that we've been flirting with; one to make me ridiculous amounts of horny (he's very keen on me wanting to masturbate uncontrollably), and one to put me back under. Haven't tested them yet, but we probably will tonight or tomorrow. Squee. (hm, scratch that, Heroes returns tonight; make that tomorrow or wednesday.)
One thing I would like to ramble about is his Voice. His non-hypno voice isn't really anything special, I have to say. It's quiet and slow and pretty normal-sounding, and I hadn't thought it would make a good Voice until he started his first induction.... and oh, how wrong I was. His Voice is the stuff of MC porn, I swear: it's smooth and rich and deep, and just flows over everything. Makes my eyelids droop oh-so pleasantly. :D
Once over the summer, and just last night, he asked me how deep I was. And I was so drifty and pliant that all I could come up with was "deep." So he went in and revisited two triggers that we've been flirting with; one to make me ridiculous amounts of horny (he's very keen on me wanting to masturbate uncontrollably), and one to put me back under. Haven't tested them yet, but we probably will tonight or tomorrow. Squee. (hm, scratch that, Heroes returns tonight; make that tomorrow or wednesday.)
One thing I would like to ramble about is his Voice. His non-hypno voice isn't really anything special, I have to say. It's quiet and slow and pretty normal-sounding, and I hadn't thought it would make a good Voice until he started his first induction.... and oh, how wrong I was. His Voice is the stuff of MC porn, I swear: it's smooth and rich and deep, and just flows over everything. Makes my eyelids droop oh-so pleasantly. :D
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Triggers
(I did add my wonderful boyfriend as an author here, but I know that he won't post much. :p)
So triggers! I'll be honest and say that I am dying to have a really solid working one. As of now, I've got a couple that are lukewarm and don't do anything particularly sexy: a verbal one that puts me to sleep (literal sleep, as in before I go to bed, you :p), and a verbal one that puts me back into trance.
I suspect that the lukewarmidity of my triggers is due to my own preconceived notions about trance, and the fact that I'm still partly guiding 'Nauzy in what to do. Usually when I go under, I am still pretty lucid and my brain is, sadly, still running a commentary on what's going on. I'd like to think that when I'm really deep I won't think at all or have much memory of what happened in the trance.
This has, happily, happened a few times; I've woken up and been like "so, how far down did you count?" because I can't remember anything past 60. But that state has been tricky to recreate --I've got to be in just the right mindset-- and apparently there're no outward indicators of when I get there, no breathing changes or REM or anything.
At the moment, my reinduction trigger works, but it's not "zappy" enough for my tastes. He'll say the words, and I'll slump down and I definitely go under, but not very deep. Full inductions work better for me (and they're hotter. :p).
But we're working on that. I'd love a reinduction trigger that just puts me out into the forgetful-place, hopefully it's not impossible. I have to learn to relax, I guess (:p). To let go.
I once used the analogy that hypnotizing me was like programming my mind (he's a computer programmer, y'see), and 'Nauzy noted: "ah! 90 percent of it is debugging!"
So triggers! I'll be honest and say that I am dying to have a really solid working one. As of now, I've got a couple that are lukewarm and don't do anything particularly sexy: a verbal one that puts me to sleep (literal sleep, as in before I go to bed, you :p), and a verbal one that puts me back into trance.
I suspect that the lukewarmidity of my triggers is due to my own preconceived notions about trance, and the fact that I'm still partly guiding 'Nauzy in what to do. Usually when I go under, I am still pretty lucid and my brain is, sadly, still running a commentary on what's going on. I'd like to think that when I'm really deep I won't think at all or have much memory of what happened in the trance.
This has, happily, happened a few times; I've woken up and been like "so, how far down did you count?" because I can't remember anything past 60. But that state has been tricky to recreate --I've got to be in just the right mindset-- and apparently there're no outward indicators of when I get there, no breathing changes or REM or anything.
At the moment, my reinduction trigger works, but it's not "zappy" enough for my tastes. He'll say the words, and I'll slump down and I definitely go under, but not very deep. Full inductions work better for me (and they're hotter. :p).
But we're working on that. I'd love a reinduction trigger that just puts me out into the forgetful-place, hopefully it's not impossible. I have to learn to relax, I guess (:p). To let go.
I once used the analogy that hypnotizing me was like programming my mind (he's a computer programmer, y'see), and 'Nauzy noted: "ah! 90 percent of it is debugging!"
Monday, September 15, 2008
Where to begin?
I must say that I truly don't expect anyone to read this, but on the offchance someone does, I shall keep updating. :p
I think I'll start at the beginning.
I am a hypnofetishist, born and bred.
Ever since I was little I have been intrigued by hypnosis/mind control, with a fascination for bondage on the side. I was born like this; it would be impossible for me to separate myself from it, and I certainly don't want to try. ;)
Exhibit A: Disney's Aladdin and The Jungle Book. Most of you will know what I'm talking about here... Kaa's only role in The Jungle Book is to hypnotize people to eat them (I'm sure the young vorephiles get off on that, too, actually), and Jafar's got a staff he uses to hypnotize the sultan, and there's a couple wonderful scenes at the end where Jasmine is either compelled to move around by magic or is chained up in harem gear. Lovely stuff.
Moving on from that, when I was 8 or 9 or so, I remember playing all kinds of games with one of my childhood friends which involved sleeping spells (I was obsessed with the idea of falling helplessly asleep) or I as the fiery maiden who got kidnapped and tied up. Ohh yeah.
I was hypnotized for real at the tender age of 13! There was a hypnosis stage show at the campground where my family was vacationing. I did not under any circumstances want to participate in the show (more on that another time), but the hypnotist explained that he was a bit different and would let the audience go under as well, so me and my family did. I suspect now that it was actually the usual "see who in the audience goes under and incorporate them into the show" thing, but more overt. In any case, the experience was more than a little frightening (in the good way), and thoroughly enjoyable.
A few years go by, and I began to make use of the family laptop to do high school homework. I never really wanted to write essays, so I'd waste time on the internet more often than not... I began by simply googling "hypnosis." Soon enough, I found the archive and was hooked. (had my first orgasm masturbating to this story, as a matter of fact. I'm such a pervert. :p)
More years go by, and I had a boyfriend, graduated from high school, etc. I didn't tell anyone about my particular interest in hypnosis, though I kept reading stories. Just stories, though, and an mp3 once in a while...I never tried to talk to anyone in the community or try to get 'tized by a person.
Enter my current boyfriend. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, I told him about my fetish in, what, our third conversation as a couple? And he was very receptive and not grossed out.
Fast forward a full year and two months later, though months of amazing chemistry and loads of vanilla sex. I had started to poke into the hypnofetish community, and was in an IRC channel and talking to my boyfriend at the same time. I brought up the idea of letting one of the 'tists in the channel hypnotize me, and we both agreed that we'd prefer if he did it.
So that's what we did, in April. We're still both pretty new to this, and we're taking baby steps, but god, are they awesome little things. I feel more happy and content as a hypnosub than I ever did as a vanilla girlfriend.
Thanks for reading all that, if you did. :p I'll try to make my future posts more bite-sized.
I think I'll start at the beginning.
I am a hypnofetishist, born and bred.
Ever since I was little I have been intrigued by hypnosis/mind control, with a fascination for bondage on the side. I was born like this; it would be impossible for me to separate myself from it, and I certainly don't want to try. ;)
Exhibit A: Disney's Aladdin and The Jungle Book. Most of you will know what I'm talking about here... Kaa's only role in The Jungle Book is to hypnotize people to eat them (I'm sure the young vorephiles get off on that, too, actually), and Jafar's got a staff he uses to hypnotize the sultan, and there's a couple wonderful scenes at the end where Jasmine is either compelled to move around by magic or is chained up in harem gear. Lovely stuff.
Moving on from that, when I was 8 or 9 or so, I remember playing all kinds of games with one of my childhood friends which involved sleeping spells (I was obsessed with the idea of falling helplessly asleep) or I as the fiery maiden who got kidnapped and tied up. Ohh yeah.
I was hypnotized for real at the tender age of 13! There was a hypnosis stage show at the campground where my family was vacationing. I did not under any circumstances want to participate in the show (more on that another time), but the hypnotist explained that he was a bit different and would let the audience go under as well, so me and my family did. I suspect now that it was actually the usual "see who in the audience goes under and incorporate them into the show" thing, but more overt. In any case, the experience was more than a little frightening (in the good way), and thoroughly enjoyable.
A few years go by, and I began to make use of the family laptop to do high school homework. I never really wanted to write essays, so I'd waste time on the internet more often than not... I began by simply googling "hypnosis." Soon enough, I found the archive and was hooked. (had my first orgasm masturbating to this story, as a matter of fact. I'm such a pervert. :p)
More years go by, and I had a boyfriend, graduated from high school, etc. I didn't tell anyone about my particular interest in hypnosis, though I kept reading stories. Just stories, though, and an mp3 once in a while...I never tried to talk to anyone in the community or try to get 'tized by a person.
Enter my current boyfriend. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, I told him about my fetish in, what, our third conversation as a couple? And he was very receptive and not grossed out.
Fast forward a full year and two months later, though months of amazing chemistry and loads of vanilla sex. I had started to poke into the hypnofetish community, and was in an IRC channel and talking to my boyfriend at the same time. I brought up the idea of letting one of the 'tists in the channel hypnotize me, and we both agreed that we'd prefer if he did it.
So that's what we did, in April. We're still both pretty new to this, and we're taking baby steps, but god, are they awesome little things. I feel more happy and content as a hypnosub than I ever did as a vanilla girlfriend.
Thanks for reading all that, if you did. :p I'll try to make my future posts more bite-sized.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Well, here I am.
I'm jumping on the hypnoblog bandwagon!
Yes, this domain previously was posts from my vanilla life...blogging about hypnosis is not only more fun, I can pretend it has some redeeming value (eg, maybe others can get ideas/learn). Not that I expect this blog to be great or anything.
Other things: I'm in college (uni to the brits), I'm atheist, nerdy, and use a mac.
I am happily taken and will not be your hypnosubject, but I would like to be friends. You can see profiles of me on fetlife or on this place (we'll see if it takes off, eh?). Or just keep reading.
Yes, this domain previously was posts from my vanilla life...blogging about hypnosis is not only more fun, I can pretend it has some redeeming value (eg, maybe others can get ideas/learn). Not that I expect this blog to be great or anything.
Other things: I'm in college (uni to the brits), I'm atheist, nerdy, and use a mac.
I am happily taken and will not be your hypnosubject, but I would like to be friends. You can see profiles of me on fetlife or on this place (we'll see if it takes off, eh?). Or just keep reading.
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