"the vanillas"

So, us kinky people are, you know, kinky. And people who aren't kinky we refer to as "mundanes" or "vanillas," or "vanilla people" into "vanilla sex," coming from vanilla's reputation as a plain, even boring, flavor (even though vanilla is one of the more complex flavors... go figure).

It's not hard to find examples of kinky folks talking derisively about vanilla sex. Coming from the feminist perspective that I do, I tend to not join in on that sort of thing, since vanilla sexual expression is as valid a type of sexual expression as any other, and being all "OUR SIDE IS BETTER" when both sides are equally fine leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Still, sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's part of kink pride, which isn't a bad thing!

I mean, being kinky is still a diagnosable condition, at least until 2013 when the DSM-V comes out and you can have paraphilias or enjoy sadism without having a disorder. Kink is still not mainstream. Vanilla sex is what is represented in movies; indeed, usually if there's anything that can be read as kinky it's done without explicit consent and is pretty creepy.

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this, other than apparently someone in one of my my circles of friends was grossed out by my blog and said a bunch of misconceptions about BDSM when I wasn't there, and she was especially put off my use of the phrase "vanilla people." Even though I think "vanilla" is a totally valid descriptor for non-kinky sex, and when combined with "people," it is a perfectly humanizing turn of phrase.

But also, she said "and the concept of a "sex blog" bugs me too. It looks like a way of saying, "I have so much mind-blowing sex and it's like totally awesome!""

Um yes, yes it is. I have a lot of mind-blowing sexual experiences and it's totally awesome! Say it with me, folks!