So, the relationship I had been in ended about a month ago, and I find myself here, again, single and announcing it to the world. lols. I guess... I don't know where this blog is going from here. Sex is different for me now. I had a lot of really excellent casual play last summer that made for great sexblogging, but I don't know if I am able (or, more importantly, if I want) to do that anymore. I originally started blogging about my sex life at least partly out of a need for others' approval, and I'm moving away from that both consciously and as a natural part of my maturing process, I think. So maybe this blog filled a need for me at one point, but maybe it doesn't anymore.
I also don't know if I want the archives of the blog to be publicly available anymore. Most of what's on here is from my abusive relationship and the time when I was thrashing around using coping mechanisms without understanding them-- which is stuff that has become really quite personal, and there's stuff I've said I don't agree with anymore, and yeah. it's messy.
I'm thinking, if anything, I might wind up posting a lot about the intersection of sex/kink and my rape trauma. Which, honestly, is something I think should be talked about, although I don't know if I'm the one to do it. And I'm not sure if this is the venue I'd like to do it in (tumblr is where all the cool kids go these days :p). I'm really not sure. I think the tone of the blog would probably change from "omg you guise I did all of these hot things" to something more introspective and thoughtful. Certainly, hopefully, something more mature and self-aware. >.>
And I guessssss that paragraph leads me to "but omg will my readers want to READ that?!" which is an insecurity I used to have but, like I said, I am moving away from, because goddamn, it's my blog and I can introspect if I want to.
So: yeah. My shit's changed. I'm not sure where I'm going from here. I may delete the blog, or I may not. We'll all have to see. I make no promises, and hope y'all have no expectations.
3 comments:
Sorry to hear about being single again. I'd also be sorry to lose reading your blog, but if you don't need it or it doesn't serve a purpose, maybe that's okay, kind of like cutting strings to the past. Leaving a relationship always leaves me down in the dumps, but eventually you do get the excitement of starting a new one.
i'm relatively new to your blog, but my opinion is that it is your blog, and you should talk about whatever you want. if someone doesn't like it, or "doesn't care," they can piss off.
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